


Apocalypse // Tuckington

by punkbocs



Category: Red vs. Blue
Genre: F/M, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-30
Updated: 2020-08-30
Packaged: 2021-03-06 16:07:35
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 5
Words: 39,145
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26201641
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/punkbocs/pseuds/punkbocs
Summary: It's the zombie apocalypse.While traveling alone, Washington bumps into a ragtag team of idiots. Though he hates being in big groups, these idiots may be the thing that makes him feel again...
Relationships: Agent Carolina & Agent Washington (Red vs. Blue), Agent Carolina/Agent Washington (Red vs. Blue), Agent North Dakota & Agent York (Red vs. Blue), Agent Washington/Agent York (Red vs. Blue), Dexter Grif & Kaikaina Grif | Sister, Dexter Grif/Dick Simmons, Franklin Delano Donut/Agent Washington, Franklin Delano Donut/Frank "Doc" DuFresne, Franklin Delano Donut/Lavernius Tucker, Franklin Delano Donut/Sarge, Kaikaina Grif | Sister/Lavernius Tucker, Lavernius Tucker/Agent Washington, Leonard L. Church/Agent Texas | Allison, Leonard L. Church/Agent Washington, Lopez & Sarge (Red vs. Blue), Michael J. Caboose/Leonard L. Church
Comments: 2
Kudos: 12





	1. 1

My feet heavily plodded along the dead road. It was an isolated road, more of a lane, with over grown trees and bushes. The grass and weeds tangled their way through the cracks in the broken concrete. The whole place was just filled with nature, like before the shitty humans arrived. _Before,_ Before. The sky had started clouding up, covering the sun and sinking everything into a dull grey light. In the dark of the trees, there was a soft gargle.

The aching in my feet was worse than ever and my shoes were far too small. I took a glance at my hand, too exhausted to even roll my eyes at the symbol that would forever be burned into my skin. That's how I remember my name. That's how I always did. Washington.

The road was endlessly winding, till it turned out suddenly onto a main road. It was a wreck, as most places were these days. Crashed cars half rusty, scattered bones and dry blood. And bodies. There were the times it made me gag at the site of them. Just by glancing, you'd know that the infected fucked up everything.

There weren't many wandering round these roads, as most were stuck in or between cars. It wouldn't take long to navigate my way through the chaos and to the corn fields over the road. Readying my pistol, I took a few cautious steps into the road, casting my eyes out in front, to find an easy route.

I dared not breath for fear of runners, ones that go from 0 to 60mph in less than a second. Crouching low, I moved slowly through the wreckage and spotted the same old, familiar fence. It was sort-of comforting to see it again.

I rushed forward, jumping over the fence swiftly and started off at a jog to the treeline. The zap of pain hit me so intensely I gasped out, slamming a hand over my forearm. Only stopping by the treeline to investigate, I found the tear in my hoodie and the blood seeping through the light grey. Most of my panic gone, I held onto my arm tightly before moving on again. The warmth of blood was relieving. At least I was still alive.

I sunk to my knees under a tree further into the forest, slipping off my backpack and unrolling some of the fine bandaging. It was a waste, I knew that, but the wound was surprisingly hot and wouldn't heal without _some_ aid. The soft winter air had cooled it for now as I jumped up on the first few branches of the tree.

In the quiet of the woods, I heard voices. Loud ones, filled with irritation. At the moment, I wasn't up for new friends. I stared through the leaves after climbing higher, spotting the source of the voices. From this distance, four people stood in a circled, two shouting at each other.

They continued to argue, walking aimlessly in my direction. They stopped not far, close enough to listen.   
I held my breath for the fourth time today, as to not give myself away.

"Wait, a safe haven? Is that a good idea?" One of them said, his light voice was laced with uncertainty.

"I know it's been...bad the last times," the other paused, putting a hand in his hair. "It won't happen again, not with this one."

My position became increasingly uncomfortable the longer they talked. There was a child among them, a small boy. He was clutching a stick in his hand, looking up as they argued.

"What do you think, Caboose?"

"I think that is a wonderful idea! Church always had the best ideas."

"Alright. Well let's go then, it's getting late." This so called, Church, said.

They continued on down a deer track.

I waited. I'd learnt to do that now. I jumped down softly when they were gone and headed the other direction. They can't have been bandits, that's for sure. Not enough supplies _and_ a child. I didn't want to think about children and bandits in the same context.

I sighed, cursing. I hadn't talked to another person for God knows how long.

-

The rain tumbled down not long after I had found another resting place. Another tree, a familiar one. I climbed on that very tree and sat there with the wind blowing my hair and rain hitting my face painfully.

I tied myself to the tree with some rope, afraid of falling. But, in some way, I wouldn't mind falling. I'd be rid of this world and that would be wonderful.

I sighed with relief, the rain and wind becoming less annoying as sleep dared to come. No infected could climb up, and I was sure no bandits could see me from here. It was relatively safe.

The rain soaked me completely, which had ruined the peace of sleeping and the wind was slapping me awake again and again. The shaking and shivering was hard to stop and even the protection of cold from my hoodie would not help.

I jolted awake. The echo of a gunshot. Being uncomfortable was now the least of my worries. Fear set in.

In a panic, I froze, trying hard to control my now ragged breathing. It was too cold and I was too numb to move more after that, so dying may not be so bad. I felt for the knife in my pocket and gripped it tightly. It had become more of a comforter than a weapon.

The shot rang out for miles.

"Don't go down there, you're fine." I muttered to myself, squeezing the knife.

-

I was awoken by the sound of birds.   
I yawned and sat there in the tree, legs hanging off the edge. It was much brighter today and streaks of sunlight lit up the forest floor. It was almost magical.

I nearly forgot about the whole world.

I looked down to see a herd of deer, chewing on the fresh morning grass.   
Deer equals food. And hunger only gnawed at every limb on my body.

It looked up at me with wide eyes as if it it knew what I was thinking. I didn't want to kill anything. Too many things had already been killed.

Inevitably, an infected had been awoken from its dazed slumber and limply started walking over to the herd, it arms outstretched and it's mouth snapping and biting the air. The deer all perked up there heads and swiveled their ears. The infected had just about reached them when a male deer rammed into it with its antlers, killing the infected instantly. I looked away. Blood in the morning wasn't a good combination.

The herd had spread out freely, across the opening beneath. I watched them for a while, trying to figure out if they could get infected. There was one small female that was somewhat bullied by the others. It has marks on it that indicated it had been attacked by other animals. It was also injured. One hind leg was up and she was limping about, becoming a danger to its herd.

No one wants to be left behind, even animals, so it's probably forced itself through the pain in hopes it could stay alive a little longer. If the infected had something to do with it's wounds, then it didn't seem to be suffering any symptoms of an infected.

My heart became loud and heavy in my chest. Looking up, I felt the dizziness hit me first, then came the nausea. I shook my head, taking out my water and fumbling with the lid as my fingers were still so numb. The water tasted like heaven.

With a refreshed mind and a few deep breaths, I untied the rope and began down the tree and immediately scattered the deer. Not even the males stayed to fight. I shouldered my bag and followed another trail further into the woods. The gushing sound of a river made my mouth water, so I continued my calm walk towards it. I didn't want to waste the little energy I had left.

I stopped by the edge, kneeling down and glancing at the pebbles that glinted in the morning sun. Hurriedly, I pulled out the bottle and filled it to the brim with drinkable looking water. There wasn't really any choice. The freezing water burned my fingers, allowing my mind to focus on anything but the wound on my forearm.

Wincing, I unwrapped the bloodstained bandage and stared at it. It could be the reason for my nausea. Besides, some cold water wouldn't do any harm. So, pulling off my gloves, I leant over the water with my arm and dipped it in. The icy water relieved me of pain and turned my already blue veins, bluer. It seemed, anyway.

Afraid to waste supplies, I turned the bandage on its cleaner side and re-wrapped it over the gash. With a tight finish and knot, I stood up and wiped my numb hands on his jeans, pulling on the gloves.

With one last glance at the pebbles, I looked up, froze and stared over the river.

Three people, males. They were the ones from yesterday except...no child. The one at the front held up a gun, the two others barely cowering behind.

I'd nearly forgotten how to speak.

"I don't want any trouble." I raised my voice over the rushing water, lifting my hands slightly "I'm Wash."

Apparently they weren't used to such calm introduction, as the one holding the gun faltered.

"Church." He said, cautiously. "This is Tucker and Caboose."

One behind him, Tucker, rolled his eyes. He pushed down Church's arm and stepped forward a little.

I couldn't help but notice his bright blue eyes. He looked quite young, maybe in his twenties?

"We're used to being attacked." Tucker said, glancing back at Church.

Church's shoulders loosened and he eventually dropped his arms by his side. The names sounded familiar, something like a dream.

"Three against one." I let out a breath I didn't know I was holding. At least they weren't going to kill me.

"That's true but, dude, we're lost." Tucker blurts out, looking up and down the river.

I closed my eyes, the sudden feeling of nausea coming over me again. I wanted to lie down right here and go to sleep. The cut started to burn intensely.

"Lost?" I force out, my voice rougher than I remember.

"We've been walking in circles." Church steps up, pointing at the side pocket on his bag. There was a map.

I had a hard time standing up and even hearing them speaking, the corners of my vision were going blurry. What was up with that cut? Surely these weren't symptoms of turning. I'd expect bleeding from the eyes.

"Hey, you listening?" Tuckers voice sliced through my thoughts.

" _Fuck._ " I muttered, sitting harshly on the ground. I held my head up to keep me from throwing up, as the dizziness got worse.

"Dude we have to help!" I heard them talking but couldn't bare to open my eyes. Why was this happening now? Of all times?

"What if he's infected? We should just end him quickly."

"No way."

I heard a faint splashing, the only thing keeping us apart. The river. Focus on the river. I flinched as I felt hands on my shoulders and muffled voices. Oh shit. Oh _fuck._ Don't pass out.

I sighed, squeezing my eyes shut and leaning back on the floor. It slowly got quieter and all I could think about was the cut.

-

I woke with a sharp gasp, looking at my surrounding. It was dark, apart from the glow of a fire in front of me. The first thing I felt was cut. It felt like it was burning through the bandage and my clothing.

Like fire. I took a second look at the orange glow and the smell of smoke. My breath hitched as I shuffled away from it, turning into the darkness of trees. I thought the memories had come back but I was awake and I couldn't smell blood or hear infected.

I tried to move my arms, except I couldn't. They were tied behind my back tightly, but not enough to hurt. They _really_ bound my hands?

"Hey," a soft voice said behind me. "You okay?"

I turned my head back, seeing Tucker. He was tending to some sort of meat over the fire. My mouth started watering at the sight and smell.

"I think you passed out." He let out a soft breathy laugh.

 _Shit._ I pulled my knees up to my chest.

Tucker signed, shaking his head.

I desperately wanted to hold my arm and relieve some of the pain. It kept burning and I wanted to throw up.

"Going with the quiet guy, huh?" He grabbed a sharpened stick and poked it through the now cooked meat.

I shrugged and watched him bite off a small piece of meat. My mouth still watered. I couldn't remember the last time I ate something warm.

He walked up to me and knelt down, slowly untying the rope that kept my hands together. I wanted to run, but the meat was so tempting and I didn't want to waste my energy. They could easily catch me. I decided to stay still, rubbing my wrists gently.

"You should eat."

I nodded and took the meat he offered cautiously. Though it looked delicious, I was skeptical. Tucker moved back to his original spot by the fire, leaving me to eat.

It looked dry and plain, but I wasn't complaining. It was the first meat I'd eaten in ages.

"It's not gourmet but it's pretty close." Tucker added, placing the rope by his side.

I bit into the meat. It wasn't tender, but it was enough and I felt some strength return to my limbs.

I looked around at the other two, who were clearly fast asleep. They used their bags as pillows and slept closely for, I assumed warmth.

I cleared my throat, getting Tuckers attention. "Why did you tie me up?"

"In case you decided to kill us in our sleep or if you were infected." Tucker muttered.

I nodded and closed my eyes again. The dizziness had come back so I lay down, letting sleep take over. The warmth of the fire on my back was actually comforting...

-

I'd opened my eyes again, seeing the sky and the trees slowly passing. It was day time and my eyes hurt from the sudden light. I felt arms holding me up and I could here the sound of footsteps. I was being carried?

"Hey, he's awake." Tucker slightly shook me in his arms. I nodded and he set me down gently. My hands were tied behind my back again.

"Right." I heard the distinct voice of Church.

My legs felt weak but my the cut burned less and I didn't feel as dizzy.

I looked up at Tucker and then forward. Church had my bag over his own and I couldn't feel my knife in my pocket anymore.

"Untie me." I look at Tucker, who looked at Church. Church nodded slowly and Tucker untied the rope, quickly this time. He slightly pushed me forward between Church and himself. I growled. I never chose to be here. Does this make me their prisoner?

I shook my head and saw Tucker's slight smirk.

"Relax, were not hurting you."

I narrowed my eyes at him. I hated this. Being pushed around?

 _Come on, Wash, you're better than this_.

Still slightly dazed, I looked around. They were following an animal trail. I stared at Church's back as they continued walking, getting a slight nudge forward every now and then. Didn't they say they were lost? Why were they being so pushy? Demanding? I stayed quiet.

How long had Tucker been carrying me for? Had it been days or just a few hours? More and more questions kept popping up and I became exhausted. I just wanted to rest.

I was still trying to wrap my head around what happened. I was still all over the place. First I meet these people, I faint and now they've tied me up? It all happened so quickly and I seriously needed a minute to get myself together.

I looked back at Tucker briefly. He had a machete at his back and a pistol poking out of the pocket of his trousers. Their bags were practically empty and their clothes were blood stained and ripped.

Caboose was walking with Church, occasionally looking down at the map Church was holding. They didn't seem to be loaded with weapons or ammo, neither food or water.

Was I really being pushed around by these random strangers? I wanted to just run right then, but they had my weapons and _they_ had strength.

I let out a short laugh but it sounded wrong. Maybe it had been a long time since I laughed. Church turned his head and glared at me. I looked down. This was so fucking dumb. _I_ was so fucking dumb. A coward.

Tucker walked up next to me, looking at my bandaged arm. He grabbed it and inspected it closer, causing me to flinch.

"You're not bitten, right?"

"It's just a cut." I mumbled, still uncomfortable with my voice.

The only vocalising I did was sing. Sing when I felt lonely. Hum the tunes of silly cartoons or old songs we used to listen to.

His hands slipped away from my arm. I was thankful as the cut was painful and even the area around it was sensitive.

I felt everyone was tense. Well, everyone except for Caboose. He was walking along like normal and not as cautiously as the other two. Tucker was a little less stressed than Church, but I didn't know why. I was practically useless at this moment in time.

Everything was so fucking confusing.

-

We'd been walking a while now, walking in the same usual formation. Church and Caboose in front, Tucker in the back and I stayed in the middle.

Tucker tried to make small talk with me, probably to make the whole situation less awkward. I just needed a breather. I need a fucking break.

"You can't have been on your own the whole time. Did you have a group?"

I nodded.

"Were they good?"

There were some main people that were on my side. It kinda went to shit for a group that big so things got bad.

I just nodded again, trying not to use my voice.

"You barely have anything, how have you survived?" Tuckers voice was becoming more irritated. I could've laughed.

I shrugged. I missed my friends. I wish Tucker would stop talking.

"Lucky we came across you." Tucker said, his voice suddenly care free.

I scoffed, glaring at him. He had that same smirk as before. I had only seen it twice but I was starting to despise it. It was like he was mocking me for being completely defenceless, for being a coward. For not running away already. Like he was daring me too. They didn't seem like bad guys.

The small talk between Church and Caboose was the only thing that kept my head up. My legs ached and I was tired, exhausted. The cut felt better but my body wanted to lie down and sleep.

"Shit, infected." Church called behind and Tucker grabbed the machete at his back. I blinked, looking up at the two infected that were stumbling towards us.

Tucker lifted his blade, slicing the head off of the first infected. He kicked the second ones knees back and stabbed it through the side of the head.

I nearly gagged when we walked past. I never missed that smell. I stared at Tuckers machete and then up at him. His face was calm, surprisingly.

"One more day and we'll be there," Church said. Tucker glanced at me.

"We're going to a town. It's safe there." Tucker spoke to me like I was a little kid. Speaking of, didn't they _have_ a kid?

I stared forward, trying to ignore Tucker's gaze. I hadn't been to a safe haven in over a year and I never planned on going to one. I guess I didn't have a choice this time.

-

The next few hours were very uneventful, though Caboose had spoken up a bit. There was something about him that made me wonder how he's survived this long.

"Are you staying with us now!?" Caboose smiled at me. He looked actually happy.

"Yes." I muttered out plainly. It wasn't like I was in any condition to leave.

"Sorry about Church. He is tired." He smiled to himself and looked at Church almost adoringly. "Tucker too."

I sighed.

"We'll rest soon! Church says we're going to a nice safe town. Church always has the best ideas." Caboose hummed to himself.

He was so... happy? Oblivious? His personality seemed too pure for this world, too fragile. But his physical build didn't match. He looked like he was _meant_ for this world, but as soon as he speaks its a whole different story.

"Church!" Caboose whimpered, pointing at an infected.

"Calm down," Church looked up. "Its stuck, idiot."

The infected was trying to force its way between two tree to get to us. Its gurgles ruined the singing of birds.

I hadn't got to use my knives in a while and this seemed like good practise. I reached for my pocket and was only left with disappointment. Right. They had my knife.

"Hey," Tucker elbowed my arm. "You listening?"

"Wha-"

"Daydreaming will kill you." Church laughed. "Pay attention."

After a while, I started to think. Church. Tucker.

"Has it always been you three?" I asked.

"Yup, for a while now." Tucker popped the 'p' on yup. He then nodded to Caboose. "Found him a couple months ago."

"We had one more but, we think he's dead. Or just disappeared." Church joined in, shrugging.

My stomach flipped.

I replayed that conversation me and Florida had and I looked at the floor. Poor Florida. I kept my mouth shut.

"His name was Florida," Church laughed. "He was either the backbone of this group or the mistake."

I laugh. Or I try to. Florida was a terrible leader, but he was funny. Tucker stares at me, his face partly amused.

I finally shake my head. "Poor Florida."

Tucker stops and stares at me. In front, Church makes a choking sound.

"Poor Florida?"

"Strangely reassuring voice?" I held back a smile.

He nods.

"Allergic to aspirin?"

"How do you...?" He narrowed his eyes, biting his bottom lip.

"Tucker and Church. I knew you sounded familiar."

-

We'd been walking all day. I had to tell them the bad news about Florida. They didn't seem that upset, but I was, having made close friends with Florida during the short time we were together. They agreed that Florida leaving was probably for the best.

They had both definitely relaxed. Church's voice didn't hold as much venom and Tucker stopped pushing me around. I still didn't get my belongings back, which made me a little more skeptical.

Florida's group.

Florida's friends, his team. They actually exist and it wasn't one of his stupid jokes. I was surprised. More than that. How in the world did I find them? Surely this was just a delirious dream.

It was about four o'clock, as the sky was getting darker every minute. It was winter too and I couldn't help but feel bad for Caboose, who had no layers except for a tank top. I was going to offerer my hoodie, but Church's voice stopped me.

He pointed forward. In the trees there was an old, wooden shack. It looked like it was about to topple over, but also quite well kept.

"There might be food." Tucker and Church share a sly glance. "Wash?"

I looked at both of them.

"Care to lead the way?" Church grinned, insincerely. I scowled at both of them.

"Knife?" I asked, looking at my bag on Church's shoulders. He shoved his hands in his pocket and chucked my knife at me, making me fumble. Tucker pushed his bag into my arms too.

I walked in front of them, slowly making my way up to the shack. I peeked through the window and glanced around the small room. No people and no infected. I moved up to the old door and opened it, which emitted an obnoxiously loud creaking sound. I slipped inside, seeing a few cans of food on a small table.

It was small inside, a small wooden chair under the wooden table and paintings hung up on the wall. There was a burnt out fireplace, filled with ash.

I stepped forward and winced as the floorboards creaked too. I continued to grab the cans, which luckily didn't smell bad, and shoved them into Tuckers bag. I looked around, seeing a small cabinet on the wall. I opened it up and laughed slightly. It was full of pills, bandages, stitching needle and thread and disinfectant. I opened the lid of the disinfectant and it smelt strongly of vodka. I assumed so.

I carefully put the things on the table neatly, ignoring my arm. I knew it needed caring but maybe if I ignored it, it would go away. In the very back of the cabinet there was a small glass bottle. I took a small sip and shivered. I felt the alcohol hit my throat harshly. It had been a while since I tasted anything like this.

I went to turn back to the table, coming face to face with a pistol. I almost laughed, thinking it was Tucker but instead saw an entirely knew face.

I heard the click of a gun and, in the quiet of the evening, a shaky voice. I lifted my hands up, showing myself as defenseless.

"Who are you?" His voice was light and full of fear.

"I'm...my name is Wash." I replied. I glanced at his hands then back to his eyes. He was shivering. 

"A-are you with anyone?" He said, trying to sound confident.

"I have a couple friends outside, okay? But we're not going to hurt you." Telling the truth was better than lying, I couldn't risk hurting anyone. They were like distant friends. Even though I felt like a prisoner but, I didn't want to scare him away.

"I-I can kill you, you're a thief!"

"Here me out, uh...?"

"Frank- uh...Donut."

"Donut listen, I'm not going to hurt you. I thought this place was abandoned."

He gripped the gun tightly in his hand until his knuckles turned white. He looked helpless and I hated it. I was stealing from him. I took a step forward.

"Don't move!" His voice was starting to get more shaky and his eyes were watering.

"Its okay, really! Trust me for one minute." I took another step forward, reaching for his gun.

Donut pushed the gun into my hands, covering his face with his hands and sobbing quietly as he mumbled out apologies. I tucked the gun into my pocket and stepped towards him until he looked hopelessly up at me.

"It's okay to be scared." I said in a low voice. I glanced over at the window.

Church and Tucker were looking in, supposedly hearing the commotion. I gestured for them to go back, watching them disappear from sight. I dropped my hands down to my side,

"Are you here alone?" I asked, standing by the door now.

"Y-yes, I'm alone. I'm alone." He assured. I opened the door slowly, watching the sun set behind the trees.

"Is this place safe?" I asked. Donut quickly tied a purple bandana around his neck gently.

"There haven't been many infected round here, so I suppose."

He looked young, maybe about the same age as Tucker and had a certain ring to his voice. Shaky, scared, but he seemed determined.

"I'm sorry..." His voice was more composed now. He took a deep breath.

"Are you seriously alone?" I asked. He seemed so fragile like this.

"Yeah...I've been looking for someone.

"Oh." I sighed.

He nods. I told him to wait inside as I snuck out to the others.

"Who is that?" Church said, now standing up

"He says his name is Donut," I mutter, giving Tucker his bag full of canned food. "Were staying here tonight."

"Let's go then." Church walks up to the door and I suddenly felt inferior again.

The others walked in behind me wandered around inside.

Donut looked up at me and nodded, a small smile on his face. He cowered behind me as they introduced themselves.

___

It was getting dark now already and Church, being the skeptical he was, wouldn't stop looking out of the window. Caboose has fallen asleep on the floor shivering and Tucker was sitting in the wooden chair, flipping his machete in his hand.

"I noticed your arm," Donut says quietly, nodding towards the table where I had laid all the bandages out. I cringed.

I pulled up my sleeve and unwrapped the red bandage, looking at the open wound. It was still bleeding slightly but it was a lot deeper than i remembered. I hoped it wasn't infected.

"My friend was a doctor." Donut tugged my arm over to the table and pushed it down.

"W-wait...is it that bad?"

Donut shrugged with a nod. I looked back at the cut. I groaned, closing my eyes as Donut got the needle and bandages.

I'd only had wounds stitched a few times but that was back when there was actual hospitals. And I was about to get my arm sewn up by someone I didn't even know. Though, he did seem to have the right needle for actual stitching.

Donut turned back to me holding the needle and placing the bandages beside my arm. I simply looked away and closed my eyes, waiting.

"Ready?" He says, in a small voice. I nodded and cringed as I felt the needle go through my skin.

I gripped my hair with my other hand and forced down a pained noise, trying not to disturb Caboose, who was still sleeping soundly.

It took a couple of minutes for Donut to finish off the stitching and I glanced over. It wasn't perfect, but it was enough. Maybe it would feel a lot better after this. He grabbed the smaller bottle of vodka and poured some into the cap. I shivered as he poured it over the stitching and then wrapped it up in bandages.

"Thanks." I said, feeling a little faint. I wasn't exactly scared of blood, but I didn't enjoy having anything stitched.

I looked over at Tucker who was cracking his knuckles swishing his machete around. Church had calmed down and sat down next to Caboose. I pulled down my sleeve and glanced at a red, sleeveless denim jacket.

"Would that fit Caboose?" I asked Donut, pointing out the jacket. He nodded quickly and grabbed it, kneeling down next to Caboose and laying it over him as a blanket.

I pondered on what to do. It was silent and the minutes passed quickly. Soon Donut was resting against the wall and Tucker had fallen asleep across the table.

"Just because you knew Florida, it doesn't mean I trust you." Church said quietly, but it still made me jump.

"I know."

"You better not do anything stupid." he leaned back against the wall.

"You're the ones who tied me up." I glanced at Church. He was smiling slightly, like Tucker did. "Donut lost a friend."

"Let me guess, we're finding him?" He let out a small laugh this time.

"He's a Doctor, apparently." I continued, glaring at Church.

"He's probably dead." Church shrugged and I winced at his carefree attitude.

"He's alive." Donuts voice mumbled out, silencing the both of us.

Church looks at me and shrugs again, leaning further against the wall to sleep. I stared out of the window. It was completely dark now and yet I didn't feel tired at all. Meeting this guy was yet another thing to wrap my head around, to sort out, to fix. I was still meaning to ask them why they basically took me as a prisoner.

My mind kept thinking back to my group. Back to the good old days, too, when we snuck around and drank and did stupid stuff as teenagers. Now those days were gone.

-

I woke up early, seeing the light creep into the window. It was a nice day already and it wasn't raining. At least we wouldn't get wet today. I stood up and opened the door of the shack, checking to see if there were any infected near. Surprisingly, it was all clear. I closed the door slowly and saw Church stretching his arms.

"We got any more food? I'm kinda really hungry." Church muttered sleepily as he stood up and stretched his legs.

I was about to go for my bag, but remembered all of the canned food was I'm Tucker's bag. I decided to stay quiet, only looking at Tuckers bag by his feet. Caboose shuffled and sat up, grinning at Church almost immediately. Church just rolled his eyes, grabbing a knife and Tuckers bag.

"Hungry, Caboose?" He said softly, stabbing the knife into a can. Caboose nodded, waiting patiently for Church to finish.

Church handed him the food, "Only eat half, okay?"

Caboose nodded, happily. Tucker sighed, indicating he'd woken up. Donut had silently stood up and quickly started packing some things into his bag. I assumed he was going to travel with us now, as I basically took everything here.

"We'll find your friend." I said to Donut with a nod. "Oh and, thanks." I lifted my arm slightly to show him I appreciated the stitching.

I heard Church mumble swears and looked over, seeing he'd cut himself. Caboose was closer to his side and worrying over him. It made me think. It made me remember when I had people that cared about me. I didn't like to remember. The past doesn't matter anymore, but my mind starts to wander. I jumped slightly as Tuckers voice snapped me back to reality.

"Dude, come on. You should eat. You need your strength." Tucker held out a can to me. I stared at him and then to the can, debating whether I should just get it over with.

"Fine," I took the can, turned around and started forcing food into my mouth. I couldn't help but gag. I thought back to meat Tucker gave me.

I could sense Tucker still behind me, but he stayed quiet. I looked back at him, narrowing my eyes. I then saw him smirk again.

"Still worried I'm gonna tie you up?" Tucker winked, placing a hand on his hip. He rolled his eyes and punched my arm playfully, laughing. "Bow chikka bow wow."

"I just-"

"I'm messing with you," He then turned away and grabbed his machete, putting it back in its place. I would be lying if I said I wasn't a little intimidated by it.

"Half a days walk till we get to the town," Church says, catching everyone's attention. "I think its a town at least..."

Tucker glanced at me, still smirking a little. Church threw my bag to me finally, so I slung it over my shoulders and made sure my knife was easy to access. I sighed, following Church out of the shack. I felt a little less unconformable now. Maybe they were easing up.

-

We hadn't been gone that long, but I had somehow fallen into step with Donut, who was looking pale and sad. Without even knowing him that well, he didn't seem the kind to be sad in this situation. That was a bad thing to think, because people had their days, but there was something about him.

"So, where d'you think, uh..." I didn't even ask what his friends name was.

"Just call him Doc." he said bluntly.

"Okay. Where d'you think...Doc would've gone?"

"Well...We were gonna go to this safe place, but he disappeared a few days before we were gonna go."

"Oh. Maybe he went there then?"

"He would've told me."

"He could've been found by bandits. He probably wouldn't tell them about you."

Donut sighed, leaning his shoulder against mine. "I make things worse, don't I." I muttered.

"What if he got infected? What if he's dead?"

"Like you said, he's a doctor so if he was found they'd keep him. How did he disappear?"

"He went out to find food. I tried to look for him but...he didn't come back."

"He's...most likely fine. Just stay positive." I was not good at this stuff.

Donut sighed again and we continued walking quietly. His breathing was light and calm as he occasionally took deep breaths.

"How can you stay so positive?" Donut looked up at me.

"What d'you mean?"

"You always seem so calm and relaxed about this whole thing. Aren't you scared or upset?"

"Yeah I am. I'm just very good at hiding it." I hushed my voice.

Donut half laughed, but it was a sad laugh. It had no emotion. I felt bad for him, knowing that his friend was likely dead. I didn't want to make him even more upset, though, so I stayed quiet about it.

I liked the silence, but it didn't last long. Church and Caboose were talking about the days when everything was okay. I missed being on my own. I had my strength back now, and my stuff, so why didn't I just run already? They weren't keeping me tied up so maybe they wouldn't mind if I left. I was better alone. I didn't _want_ any friends.

"Would you have taken the food anyway if I hadn't turned up?" Donut said suddenly, looking at the ground.

"It...it looked abandoned. I didn't know you were there. Would you do the same?"

"I don't know."

I sighed. I didn't want to think about indirectly causing the death of someone I barely knew. Though I wouldn't be affected quite so much if Donut was a friend.

-

We only came across a few infected. They were all pretty slow, slow enough for Tucker to kill them with a few swipes of his blade. I was annoyed that they wouldn't let me kill them, especially Church who, for some reason hated that I wanted to help. At least they are not the fast type of infected. I knew I couldn't get past them.

I shivered. I _hated_ those runners.

"How long till we're there?" I ask Church, who shrugs.

"A couple hours. Depends what's in the way," Church said, not turning back. "But not long. We'll be in a bed by tonight."

"Are we staying through winter?" Donut spoke up.

"Only a couple of weeks. Everyone needs to rest up." Church sighed. He sounded tired.

"A couple weeks?" I ask.

"I don't want to get too used to never looking over my shoulder so we are _not_ staying through the winter." Church hissed.

Tucker suddenly interrupted, making the mood a little lighter.

"Relax guys," He said. "It'll be fine."

"Tucker, shut up." Church snapped at him. I was glad Tucker was getting some whiplash.

"Whatever you prick."

"Fucktard."

"Love you." Tucker grinned.

"Hey, fuckstick, I'm gonna fucking shoot you if you don't _SHUT THE FUCK UP!"_ Church shouted, clearly angry but amusement in his voice.

The two bickered, throwing insults back and forth. They were just a bunch of idiots.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hopefully not too many mistakes, but constructive criticism is appreciated!


	2. 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I nodded, pulling it out and tossing it on the floor in front of me. It was too late to say anything now. I shook my head and looked up, watching him hand the weapons to a friend of his. Our guns and knifes, our safety was taken away from us. I hated it.

We arrived at this safe haven on an early, damp morning. Unlike Church said, we had to wait out the night in the rain.

"Let's just walk up and see what they say?" Church lingered behind a tree, packing his pistol into his bag.

"It looks normal," Donut muttered. "They might just...let us in?"

There was a makeshift wall protecting the village. It was made of old metal and wood by the looks of it, all surrounded in barbed wire and whatnot. Guards were walking round the perimeter and some were sitting on planks of wood on the wall. From this distance, they couldn't see us but looked well fortified. All the guards carried rifles.

Church stepped forward, followed by the rest of us. A couple buildings poked over the wall, one being a local church and others just larger houses.

We gradually made our way up to the gates, being stared down by a guard in full military outfit.

"Here to stay?" One guard yelled. He had a plain grey baseball cap on and his face was dirty, rugged. It wasn't so clear from down here.

"Just for a couple weeks!" Church glanced back with a nod. The gates opened slowly, and everyone walked in. I was surprised to see such a place ever again.

"Welcome," the guard rushed down to greet us, no smile but a friendly nod. I stared at him; he had a scar running down his left eye and his brown hair almost reached his jaw. I couldn't shake it. "I'm York." He said simply.

I felt my stomach flip. I stared at the ground.

"We'll take your weapons." York said. I didn't have the guts to look up, to talk to him, to see him again. "They'll be returned to you later, sharpened," he glances at Tuckers machete, "and loaded."

"Wash," Tucker nudged my arm. "Gun?"

I nodded, pulling it out and tossing it on the floor in front of me. It was too late to say anything now. I shook my head and looked up, watching York hand the weapons to a friend of his. Our guns and knifes, our _safety_ was taken away from us. I hated it.

"As I said, I'm York and I'll show you where you'll be staying. Names?"

"York..." I mumbled, glancing up at him.

The look he gave was unreadable. It looked shocked. Awestruck? Confused? Angry? Happy? I couldn't tell. And the others made it was worse by just staring at me.

"Wash?" His arms slung to his side and a small smile showed. I took a few steps towards him and stared at the scar across his face.

"What happened to you?" I lifted my hand hesitantly. I wanted to touch his scar. I wanted to hug him.

"I could say the same," York's smile grew, his voice got a little higher as if he was about to cry. "I missed you."

I let out a soft laugh. "York," I said again. His name. I hadn't said it in so long. "I'm so sorry."

York shook his head and suddenly I could feel his arms around me. Unable to resist, I hugged him back so hard I probably could've killed him.

"York." my voice was muffled against his shoulder. "I'm sorry."

"Let's just get you to your house." he said under his breath. I couldn't stop hugging him though. I couldn't stop holding him. Not like last time.

I nodded, covering my face with my arm as I pulled away. I didn't want to cry. I never wanted to cry in front of him - or anyone.

He pulled away from me and smiled again, asking for everyone's name once again. We scribbled them down on a piece of paper, along with weapons and when we were leaving.

Once we'd done, York grabbed my other arm and told the others to follow. They had been silent the whole time. Watching. I could feel it.

"I missed you." I said, keeping back more tears. "I really missed you."

-

The following hours were hazy. Like this was all a dream and York really was dead and we hadn't really found this place. The house we were in was surprisingly well kept. There were two sofas and a chair in the lounge and an old fireplace. The lounge was connected to a kitchen. A small one, but inside was like heaven. There was one cupboard filled with cans of food and another filled with bottled water. How did he get this much food? And where?

Upstairs were three bedrooms, in each a set of drawers and two single beds. While the others made themselves at home upstairs, York and I sat on the sofa downstairs.

"You know, I didn't expect you to look so beat up," York said, his voice smooth as ever. "I never thought I'd see you like this."

I sighed, but smiled. Seeing him again made me smile. "It's been shit."

"I'm guessing...Carolina didn't make it?"

I shook my head. "What happened? How did it fall apart so easily?"

"I'm not sure. We were scared." York brought his fingers up to his face. The scar was deep. No wonder he was blind.

"What happened to _you_?"

"Me and North were able to get the fuck outta there. Not without injuries though," he pointed at his blind eye. "North...North was bitten by a runner. I wanted to change things, so I found this place and there were people here, so I did the best I could. Kept low, kept quiet."

"That's smart."

York nodded. I looked back up at him, unable to resist looking at him. He was alive. He really was alright.

"Do you run this place?"

York shook his head with a grin. "I helped rebuild but now I'm just the guardsman."

"You can come with us? I don't want to loose you again." I felt tears prick at my eyes. Not again.

"I'll think about it." York ruffled my hair. "Do you still have the mark?"

I nodded and we showed our symbols to each other. We used to do this occasionally, as it made us feel slightly better. That the place wouldn't be forgotten and our place there wouldn't be lost. I noticed there were scars and scratch marks all across his and my smile faltered. He tried to get rid of it. I didn't blame him.

"Do you miss it?" I rubbed my thumb over the small symbol on my wrist.

"Sometimes. I do like being free, though."

I shivered, cursing. I'd almost forgot about the cold. It settled over me quickly, and soon I was shaking like I was a few nights ago. I was glad to be inside somewhere though.

"You're fucking cold," York chuckles. "Stay here."

I slid down onto the soft and waited. There were so many thoughts running through my head that all I could do was stare into nothingness.

"Here." York threw something at me and I pulled it on, seeing it was a small coat lined with wool and I immediately warmed up.

"Thanks." I patted the space next to me and invited him to sit again. "Stay for a little longer?"

"Fine." York grinned, sitting down. I lay over his lap and stared at the ceiling.

"Carolina didn't die without a fight." I insisted. I closed my eyes, taking a deep breath. "I had to shoot her."

* * *

_"Carolina wait! Shouldn't you think this through? It's not hard!"_

_I called out to her but she wouldn't listen. She only turned her head slightly in acknowledgement before heading over to the broken fence where many Infected were already piling through. No one else was around, so I was left to chase after her._

_"Wash, go away, I can handle this! Just give me time!" Carolina shouted back at me, turning and pushing me to the floor._

_"No, it's too dangerous! Don't fucking do this because you want to be better than her, it's bullshit!_ _It's stupid, it's not who you are, it's-"_

_"_ _DAVID_ _, SHUT UP! Just leave and go hide!"_

_I started crying as I pulled myself off the floor, continuing to chase after her. The tears kept rolling down my cheeks as I tried to comprehend everything that just happened. The fire was further behind us now but there was no turning back. There was nothing to save. Nobody. Not anymore._

_When everyone started panicking,_ _Tex_ _has slipped quietly out of the door and away. The only ones left was me and Carolina, but she'd gone after realising no one was going to make it. I tried to stay but there was no time and I was too scared. I was too scared to save my friends._

_"Carolina, please...! I need you..."_   
_My voice had started breaking from the crying but it didn't stop me going after her as she left through the broken fences and after_ _Tex_ _._

_I stumbled around for a long time, calling for her. I think it was the loss of blood was making me dizzy. At this point, I would allow any infected to chew me because I still thought I was dreaming._ _I felt my skin burning and bleeding, fighting the urge to just lie down._

_It was when I found her, I didn't care about anything else in the whole world. She was covered in cuts and bruises, chunks of her flesh missing. There were three Infected scattered, dead, on the ground around her._ _But she was a mess._

_"Carolina..."_

_"Wash...David.._ _._ _i-im_ _sorry...It wasn't..." She looked up at me, her expressions full of pain and sorrow._ _And guilt._

_"Carolina...I..."_

_"I'm so sorry. I...I love you..." she coughed and reached for the pistol in front of her._

_"No. No way. No no no. I...I can save you...you're okay! You can't leave me...I need you...your all that's left.."_

_"_ _Just go._ _"_ _I couldn't tell the difference from her tears to the blood. My eyes were blurry from the crying so everything was hazy._

_"No!"_

_"Quiet! I_ _l-love_ _you...I really do. But you have to trust me this time_ _, Wash. I know you can do it."_

_"I love you too."_

_"You've done this before." She forced a smile but she faltered, having been hit by a realisation this was the end for her._

_I picked up the gun in front of me and loaded the last bullet, my hands shaking and endless tears poured out from my eyes._ _It hurt. It really hurt._

_"Carolina...I love you...I love you..."_

_"It's okay.._ _.you can do this." She reassured. But I dropped my hands a little, watching her blood ooze out of every wound, the tears roll down her cheeks._

_"I can't. Carolina I can't. You have to get up. You...I...Carolina. I need you."_

_"How am I any different to anyone else you've killed?" Her voice was still as stern and serious as it used to be, not changing pitch and not as shaky. She accepted this was it. She won this battle. She won._ _She. Won._

_"Forgive me, Carolina. I'm...sorry. It's my fault. I hope you can forgive while you're gone." I let out a shaky laugh but it doesn't make me feel any better._

_"I've already forgiven you Wash. Don't worry. Be sure to take care of yourself. Get some rest. Help someone out. You'll be fine." She said almost like an order, but softly. I shut my eyes for a few seconds to see if I'd wake up. Nothing worked. It was too real._

_I bent down and kissed her on the lips, standing up again and aiming the gun._

_"Thank you Carolina." But I still can't press my finger down to shoot. She's waiting for me to pull the trigger. She's begging with her eyes._

_"Goodbye."_

_I wiped my cheeks and looked away_ _. How could I really be doing this? I glanced back. She'd hung her head down and shut her eyes._

_"Goodbye."_

_I shot and dropped the gun, bolting away from all the chaos, letting out cries of regret. I didn't look back. I kept running as hard as I could until I couldn't feel the heat of the fire and the stench of blood. I ran so hard that I lost feeling in my legs and when I stopped, my head spun_ _and my mouth tasted like blood._

_That was it. It was done. I was alone. I lost everyone and couldn't get them back._

_I wish I was dreaming._

* * *

"Hey, Wash, it's alright." I felt York pull his fingers through my hair. It was comforting. I felt less...scared.

Did I fall asleep? Was it a dream?

Not a dream. A memory. I hadn't had that dream in so long. Why did it come back? Because I'm back with York? Is the world against me?

"Don't worry, don't cry," I heard him says. "It'll be okay."

I felt warm. I felt the tears and I opened my eyes. I was sitting in York's lap as he hugged me with one arm, comforting me with the other.

"York," I cried. "I'm sorry."

"Sshh, don't talk. Calm down."

I let out a breath, wiping my face with the sleeves of the coat. I can't believe it. Can't believe I had the nightmare again. I didn't want them to come back.

York hugging me was a lot better than being alone. A lot better. I wasn't cold. I even felt happy.

"I'm so glad you're alive," I whispered, shaking the event off. "So glad...I found you."

"You need some sleep." York said, calmly. He lifted me up effortlessly and carried me upstairs into the empty room. The bed looked inviting and the duvet was almost like a comforter. It was heavy as York pulled it over me and ruffled my hair again.

"I'll see you tomorrow."

I smiled. I'm glad I found him.

-

I woke up nearly forgetting everything that happened. I was prepared to go down, see Tucker and Church and act normal. But I remembered. I remembered who was here and how I got up here and the dream.

I bolted upright in bed, looking over. No one was in the other bed, but it was messy as someone had slept there.

I pulled on my shoes and went downstairs. The coat I had on was too hot now, so I slipped it off. Downstairs, everyone was here, as normal. They were all sharing a can of food and one water bottle. I decided not to join, and took a sip of water.

Tucker came up to me.

"You know that guy? How?" He questioned, swallowing his food.

"He and I were friends before. One of Florida's friends, too. Sorry for ignoring you for the whole night." I mumbled out the last part.

"You were catching up, it's alright." Tucker pointed to the chair by the fireplace. It had our bags and weapons, all cleaned and undamaged. "They weren't joking."

Church was staring at his pistol and Tuckers machete, holding them in his hand. He was grinning with glee.

"Are all the weapons reloaded?" I asked. "How?"

"I guess there's a lot of ammo? They gave up ammunition clips too, for future."

"We're not leaving anytime soon." Church called back. "A few weeks."

"I hate _not_ looking over my shoulder." Donut butted it.

"Yeah. That's why we're not staying long, _Church._ " Tucker smirked earning a scoff from Church.

"Where's York?" I looked round.

"He left earlier. He said if we want to talk to him then he's at the gates." Tucker shrugged.

-

Church, Tucker and I went to look around. Donut insisted on staying and tidying the rooms, even though there wasn't much tidying to do. Quote, 'this place is so bland, it needs some spice.'

The safe little town had few people living here which made it calm and homely, in a way, but really creepy. Everyone was a little distant. I knew little of how they collected supplies, too.

What worried me, was how all the guards weren't that cooperative and the people here constantly looked pale and, almost ghostly. I wouldn't be surprised by this behaviour, but something was odd. I couldn't stop thinking back to York. Did he sleep in that bed? Did I make him uncomfortable?

I shook my head and glanced over at Tucker. He looked really concentrated on something.

"You okay?" I still felt a little awkward talking to them.

"Yeah. Everyone seems weird here. Different."

"I know what you mean."

Tucker hummed in agreement. I felt bad. I basically abandoned them all yesterday to talk with York but, that was fine right? We were just catching up.

A little girl came running up to us from one of the gardens. She had a bright smile on her face and tugged at Church's jeans.

"I've never seen you!" She giggled. "Are you staying for a long time?" She questioned.

Church knelt down, ruffling the kids hair.

"No, we aren't staying for long. What do you do for fun?" He asked, smiling. I'd never seen Church like this. Even Tucker looked a little shocked.

"We play a lot and make up stories on how we will all be okay. It makes mummy smile too! She always is happy when we play." She giggled again. "I bet you are one of the hero's that kill all the monsters!"

Church nodded. "That's right. We make sure they don't catch you." Church tickled her and she giggled.

"Thank you! My mumma appreciates it!" The girl hugs Church's leg and runs off back to the small garden. Church stands and shrugs as we continue down the road.

We soon circled back to the gate. I saw York standing up on the platform, turning around as we made a bit of small talk. He waved slightly, coming down to see us.

"Sorry there isn't much to do." He smiled nervously. "It's mostly young children and parents here, so we don't have a lot of action."

"It's alright. We're just getting back our strength anyway." Church spoke up. "Any idea where we should head next?"

"Solidarity is another place. Well known, run by a guy called Felix. But it's dangerous, I don't recommend going." York's gaze fell onto me, his worry was obvious.

"If we do come across it, we'll just check it out." Tucker glanced between York and I.

"Thanks for the warning." Church turned on his heel, heading back towards the house.

"I'll be down in a minute," I called to them. I got a nod in return.

"What's wrong?" I move in front of York, looking up at him. "You're distracted. I haven't forgotten you, you know."

York chuckled, going pink in the cheeks. "Don't worry about me. I'm just worried. Church seems...odd."

"It's not his fault, I think. They're still sceptical about me. Especially seeing you here."

"How long have you travelled with them?"

"A few days I think. I passed out for a while."

I took his cap off, surprised as his hair flopped down. It was so much longer than I remembered and it was almost fluffier. I smiled. "You need a haircut."

"Hey," he hit me gently. "So do you."

I shrugged, pulling his cap down his face.

"We'll catch up later, yeah?" I took a few steps back.

"Yeah," he blushed slightly. "See you then."

"I want to ask you something later, too." I waved a small goodbye.

I sighed, jogging down to meet the others. Tucker was sat outside the house on the grass. He looked so calm for some reason. I'd never seen him calm - then again, I've only known him for a few days.

"Why are you so red?" He smirked at. I stood beside him, leaning against the wall.

"What? Noo. You're seeing things." I said, sarcastically.

"Somethin' happened between you two?" He snickered, standing up next to me and putting his hands in his pockets.

"We're just catching up, calm down."

"Sure Wash, I believe you." He grinned.

"I really fucking hate you already."

We were quiet for a few minutes. The sun was already high in the sky, as it was winter it would soon be setting.

"Yo, Wash. You hungry?" Tucker tugged my sleeve and poked my cheek, trying to catch my attention.

"Uhhhh..."

"Yeah, well I'm starving and they're giving us food. You coming?" His smile was almost an invite but I refused.

"I'm not hungry. I'll just go to bed early."

"Actually, that was rhetorical. You're coming with." He grabbed my arm, pulling me to the hall where the food was served.

"But I'm supposed to-"

Tucker shook his head.

I've only been here a few times but it always felt like some high school shit. Grab a tray, get some shitty food, then go sit down with you're friends. Except the food here was free and not overly expensive. But still shit.

I sat in the middle of Donut and Tucker who were glaring at each other, thinking they were sly. No one else seemed to notice, anyway. I just sat there, leaning on my palm and poking at the slop on my plate. It didn't really look like food, even old tinned stuff tasted better than this. Even the meat didn't look fresh. We weren't even eating that long until an old man sat opposite us, with his coat collar covering his bashed up face. Everyone was silent.

"Y'know what yer eating, right?" He says a minute later, his rumbling voice basically vibrating the whole table.

"Uh, what?"

"Food. Know what the cooks do?" He's grinning, but not in a jokey way. It was more devilish and mocking.

Everyone just kinda looks at the food on their plates.

"Those disappearances. Chopping them up and shoving them all in'a big oven." The guy says.

"What're you talking about?" Church sits up.

"You're eating people, son." He let's out a scratchy laugh that turns into a cough. It brings some people over who are supposed to be looking over us. They stand him up without a care, pushing him into the arms of some other guards.

"We're so sorry about him. He's been here a long while and has lost himself. He doesn't know what he's saying anymore," one of them say, with a smile. "I assure, whatever he's said to you is probably all in his head." He continued, sounding genuine.

Everyone leaves their trays and left the place. While walking back, Tucker and Church had their hands over their mouths like they were about to be sick. I didn't eat anything so I was safe if what that guy said was true, but the others started getting paler each second. Especially Church and Donut.

"Maybe you four should stay outside for a bit. Cool down." I half wanted to laugh, but I just made sure they sat down somewhere. Without a word everyone agreed.

I sighed. I sat outside with them, waiting for York. I got a little nervous as he was longer than I'd expect, but soon enough he was jogging his way down to us.

"Why are you all outside?"

"Some dude telling us shit." Tucker stopped giving glares to Donut to speak to York. "I hope that meat you served wasn't people."

York laughed, shaking his head. "We don't serve people, I'm afraid. Don't worry, he's a little out of his head since this started."

I relaxed my shoulders with a breath. Now that was cleared up, I could talk to York in peace. He walks over to me, sitting down beside me.

"What did you wanna talk about?"

"You- you don't have to but, could you tag along with us when we go?" I sighed, fumbling with my sleeves. "I don't want to loose you."

York smiles lightly. I looked at him. His good eye was so bright, or it seemed so. Bright with happiness or... something.

"I'll go with you," he grinned. "I couldn't leave you again."

"Sorry if this means leaving you friends." But I smiled like a kid.

York shook his head. "I don't have any real friends. I was scared the whole thing would happen again."

I nodded, happily. I knew though, that the others would be sceptical at first.

"Another thing..." I pulled my fingers through my hair. "Why is Solidarity dangerous?"

"Wash, Felix is an odd guy. He's got everything sorted out, food, weapons, even electricity. I just feel like he's a danger to anyone who's not his friend." York takes a breath.

"We're looking for a friend. All we need is a couple days there to see if he's there," I assured him. "Trust me."

York nods, calmly. He smiles gently and pats my shoulders. "I trust you."

-

The darkness swept over swiftly. I went inside after the evening chill set in and went straight up to my bed. I was going to miss lying on a bed with covers, so might as well make the most of it. York had told us to, after all. Only the young, elderly and sick were allowed to stay for months on end and we were all fit.

I started thinking about my old group. Thinking about how good they were and some of the funny moments we had together. York and Wyoming always telling jokes, North and South always fighting, Maine hardly talked but he did join in on jokes, and Florida. Tex and Carolina...I just missed them all. I even felt bad for Connie. No one ever did tell me about Georgia.

Carolina was hardheaded, too aggressive. She had competition and bravery which may or may not have been a good thing in an apocalypse.

No one asked her to do all the work, she just took that job and got pissed at us for not doing anything. And then Tex showed up, things started really going down-hill.

Carolina failed at winning and that cost her life.

I lay in silence, hearing everyone clamber around downstairs. Though there was noise, the whole world was silent. There were hushed voices and the occasional laugh, but it all seemed so distant. The memory was so vivid and the tears just kept coming the more I thought. I lay face first into the pillow, immediately dampening it with tears. It's been forever. Carolina is gone. She's _gone._ You should be over her by now. I sighed.

It was extremely cold, alone in a big room with no heating and it was fucking freezing outside too. It wasn't comfortable, especially with only one duvet and normal clothes. I shouldn't complain. Everyone else is probably feeling just the same. I sat up and looked over at the bed. York was lying there now, laying on his side. He looked so peaceful. I wish I slept as soundly as him.

-

After a few hours of lying still, trying to sleep, I gave up. It was morning already and Church and Caboose were already up.

Slowly, I dragged myself to the bathroom. The taps didn't work, but we all had bottled water that we usually washed our faces with. I did just that, waking myself up more. I looked into the cracked mirror that was nailed to the wall, a disturbing stain of blood printed lightly all over it. I trace a few of the scars on my face and neck, exhaling deeply, letting my shoulders relax. I hated the burn marks the most, but they were lower down and less visible.

I sighed and made my way downstairs, after I was sure I looked normal, sitting on a windowsill. I stared out of the window, watching the wind blow the trees around and the last few leaves falling off the branches. I'd been thinking about staying here over the winter, but decided against it since there would be no point.

I think everyone was feeling a little better now, because they didn't look so pale anymore and not like they were about to throw up their whole stomach.

"Remind me to just eat our own food from now on." Tucker says to Church, who let's out a weird laugh.

"Didn't even need to say it."

I stared blankly at the wall in front of me, thinking of nothing but Carolina and my team. I was distracted mostly by the freezing air which reminded me of the night I had to say goodbye.

Staying still wasn't the best option, as the cold settled over me, resulting in me shivering. I pulled my knees to my chest, resting my forehead on them. I sat in complete silence in a room full of people. I heard two annoyingly loud voices outside and it sounded like they were arguing about something. I could hear the conversation clearly but didn't really care. It was the subject I was interested in.

"But why the _fuck_ are we talking to these guys!" One of them half shouted, sounding like he wanted to just make a load of noise.

"Come on, Grif! They look like they can handle themselves. They might even able to help us!" The other males voice was a little higher but more confident.

"Fuck you. This idea is shit. Fine we'll talk to them, but they probably won't care." with that, I heard a faint knock on the door and Church greeting the two with a concerned voice.

I groaned, going back up to the room. York was sat up in bed, rubbing his face. I sat over on my bed, not wanting to talk to anyone new.

"Sleep well?" I asked. York nodded, stretching his arms out.

I lay down on my back and stared at the ceiling. I couldn't stop thinking back to Carolina. To Wyoming, North.

All the pain, but for what? You don't get anything out of crying or hiding or faking. It's just lying to yourself to make you feel better and it still doesn't make anything okay. What's the point?

-

I was half asleep so I wasn't all that bothered by the light knock at the door. But I didn't move, hoping that whoever knocked would just go away. I huffed when I heard the door creak open.

"Uhh...Wash? York?" It was Tucker. Of course it was.

" _What?_ "

"We have two guys tagging along with us next week when we go. You just gonna stay in here or what?" His voice held slight concern, but it was mostly casual.

"I'm just...I'm tired. Go away."

"I'd _love_ to," He clicked his tongue. "You too, York. Come down in a minute."

"I'll go down," York said. "Stay here, alright?"

A few minutes passed of low chatter. It was then quieter. York and Tucker came in together.

"They know someone." York kneels down beside my bed. "They heard about the Solidarity thing."

"Dude, can we trust them? We haven't found Donuts friend yet." Tucker moved his weight onto his other foot.

"It's worth a try?" York shrugged.

-

The day passed slowly. Nothing happened. No one really talked to them, except Donut, who was rather interested in the two. He wouldn't stop asking questions and bouncing like a child. All through the evening there was low chatter as everyone retreated to their room, the two new people returned to their own house. I got bored of lying so still for hours, so I got up and left the house to clear my head. I tried to be as quiet as possible, but this place was old and creaky as fuck.

The freezing air hit me as soon as I opened the door and I shivered, walking down the street. I could barely see with the moonlight but continued. The stillness of the night was a little too eerie. I found a little wooden bench not far from the house and sat down, resting my elbows on my knees and my chin on my palms.

I gazed up at the stars, shoving my hands in my pocket. All I was thinking about now was Tucker. First York, now Tucker? His soft skin, his voice, him being a little protective of me or-

"What the hell are you doing."

I jumped at the voice, looking up to see Tucker with his shoulders hunched and hands in his pockets. I sighed and he sat next to me.

"I was worried about you, dude." He muttered.

"Sappy." I wanted to laugh but nothing happened.

He shook his head as if he didn't know.

"It's fucking freezing." He elbowed me gently. "Just come back inside."

"I didn't ask you to come out here."

"I know. But you're my buddy." He turned to face me and he was smiling slightly. I didn't return the gesture.

"What?"

"You heard me, idiot." Tucker leaned slightly towards me so our shoulders touched. I tense up.

"I'll do anything." He stood up, taking a few steps back home before he looked back at me with that damn smile.

I stood and was immediately taken by the hand and pulled uncomfortably close to his face. I felt myself heat up but I didn't move. _I didn't move._ I'm not usually this comfortable with others. And this urge came over me. _What the hell?_ His hot breath hit my neck and I held my breath, trying not to shiver. My heart raced as I held my breath, trying my hardest not to start breathing faster too.

He smirks and steps back. I nearly whine but bite my tongue instead.   
He tugged my sleeve and I followed behind him, hiding my face with my hand.

He pushed me onto my bed and prodded my cheek, glancing at York, sound asleep. He left the room quietly, stopping at the door.

"Go to sleep or I'll shoot you." he chuckled softly, closing the door behind him.

I pulled the covers over me like an annoyed toddler and rolled away to face the wall, genuinely smiling to myself slightly. At least he was my friend. Now I was starting to calm down and get over how close we were. But at least I had something other than Carolina on my mind.

-

"Wake up, Wash!" I rolled over and felt a sharp pain on my cheek.

"Ow, what the fuck!?" I sat up on one of my elbows, using my spare hand to rub the slapped cheek.

"That's the spirit!" Tucker clapped his hands.

I glared at him and gritted my teeth, forcing myself to stay angry when he was smiling. I properly sat up and swing my legs over the side of the bed.

"Missed you." he shrugged, smiling. "Just come downstairs, you're late."

After pulling my fingers through my hair and stretching I went downstairs. I'd already shoved some important shit into my backpack so there was no need for any more of that. I was suddenly greeted by a very happy Donut. Well, that sounded better in my head. He smiled at me and gave me a small hug, almost jumping with excitement.

"What's got into you?"

"I hate this place! It's so gloomy and sad. The outside will be a lot more exciting!" He glanced up at me, "So he finally fixes his hair, huh?"

"Umm... Yeah? I don't know...was it ever broken?" I scratch my neck.

"Good point." He giggled quietly, grabbing his bag from the sofa. This seemed more Donut. Bubbly, happy. Like Caboose.

Tucker came up to me, the two new ones trailing behind him. I actually noticed how confident he was, but that didn't matter.

"Wash, this is Grif," he pointed at Grif, who had a light-tan skin with brown, curly hair that was loose.

"And this is Simmons," he moved his finger to the other, a pale guy with freckles. He was a little taller and lanky, but shy.

"Uhh...Hi?"

"Sup." Grif shrugged and glanced at his friend.

Simmons rolled his eyes. "Hey."

They exchanged a glance, so I shrugged and slung my bag over my shoulders, leaving the two and leaning against the windowsill.

"What are you, in love with the window or somethin'? Come on we're leaving now." Church complained, quickly opening the door. I rolled my eyes, following behind with Tucker.

"Wait, where are we going?"

"Didn't Tucker tell you?"

"Did he need to know?" Tucker butt in, walking with Church for a few seconds.

Church sighed and punched Tucker. Well, in a friendly way...I hope.

"Dude, we're literally just going out. What is there to tell." Tucker rubbed his arm and took a place by my side. I nodded uncertainly.

Grif, Simmons, Caboose and York chose to stay at home and play cards. Grif seemed so calm, almost like he didn't care that it was the apocalypse.

-

After some convincing with the guards to leave, we made our way towards the woods. It was a stupid idea, but we didn't complain. We were just happy to leave that horrible place for a while.

Donut stopped for a minute, looking at all the flowers and pointing out the ones that were his favorite. Church clambered up into a tree, swinging his legs over the edge.

"Christ dude, be careful." Tucker stands under him with his arms put slightly, just in case he falls. 

"Oh don't be a wimp I'm fi- oh shit-!" Church wobbles as he loses his grip on the branch, slipping off and into Tuckers arms.

"Holy fuck you're heavy!" Tucker falls to the ground, unable to move as Church recovered from his fall.

"Hey! I'm not! You're weak."

Tucker pushes Church of his lap, standing up and brushing himself off. Church scoffs and stands up, nudging Tucker with his elbow playfully.

I couldn't help but smile, watching the idiots be idiots, and Donut enjoying the scenery.

I was glad to get some air for a while and make sure everyone was having a good time. Tucker was carving something into a tree with his knife. I walk up next to him.

' _0174-'_

"Are you writing your fucking phone number?"

"Priorities my dude."

"You don't even have a phone."

"Or do I?" He grins, continuing to carve the numbers into the wood.

"Tucker, I swear to God if you're writing your number right now..." Church walks over, causing Tucker to turn around and lean against the tree.

"What're you talking about? I don't see any numbers." Tucker mocks him, trying to hide the smile. All Church does is growl and go off again.

"Hey man, I have an idea. Show us some of your knife skills." Tucker points at the knife in my pocket, moves away from the tree and backs me up. "Throw your knife on the four."

"I'm seriously doubting I can do that."

"Well, then that's your challenge." He stands next to me, waiting. I sigh and take out my knife, holding my breath and throwing it at the tree.

Tucker runs up to the tree, struggling to pull the knife out.

"You nearly got it," Tucker looks at the blade. "Try again!"

"Why do you care so much?" I chuckled, tossing the blade up casually.

"Its just cool, dude." Tucker smiles again.

I throw the knife against another tree, seeing his reaction. It was adorable, the way he grinned and rushed over to try and pull the knife out. It was just the fact he was excited over something that didn't really bother me which made me happy.

I heard a shout in the background and the sound of something falling. I glanced over, not seeing Church anywhere except for the rustling in the grass.

"Church?" Tucker says, moving towards the tall grass. "Dude, stop playing."

There's a soft gargle of infected as Tucker pulls out his machete and rushes to the movement. I follow behind, shouting for Donut. There's a quick swipe of Tuckers blade and the gurgling dies down and seeing an unconscious Church not far from it.

"Oh shit!" Tucker slides down next to Church. His head was red with blood but it didn't look like a bite.

"What happened?" Donut bounces over, wincing at Church. He's completely still. "Oh."

I knelt next to Tucker, scanning Church to see if he had any other wounds. He seemed to be fine, except for his head which, fortunately, wasn't totally fucked. I unzipped my bag as Tucker was shaking him and panicking under his breath.

"Keep his head up," I said, taking out some left over bandages and wrapping it round Church's wound. Tucker was silently cursing himself and Donut stood uncertainly watching over them.

"You are all so lucky." I mumbled. "Help me pick him up."

Tucker shuffled over and slipped his arms under Church's, lifting him up. I sighed, moving my arms under Church's legs and back. He really was heavy. Tucker moved back, letting go.

"Both of you, I want you to look out for infected, got it? Let's hurry."

I started walking back towards the village, Church was mumbling things in his odd state. At least he still had energy to sleep talk, but he really was so fucking heavy, Tucker was right.

Tucker wasn't afraid to use his machete, cutting down infected quickly as the gates came into view. The two started shouting to open the gates as one Doctor rushed over, seeing Church unconscious.

"He's not bitten?" The Doctor asked, looking at the bandage wrapped round his head.

"No, he's just unconscious." Tucker said hurriedly.

"Get him back to your home and I'll be down in a minute." The Doctor says, going off more calmly to grab some things.

I carried Church all the way down to our house, laying him gently on the sofa and in a conformable looking position.

"Don't freak out, Tucker." I stood beside him, placing a hand in his shoulder. "He'll be okay."

"He better be okay or...Caboose will be devastated."

"He's _okay._ Trust me."

Tucker signed and nodded.

-

While the Doctor tended to Church, Donut found an old vase and poured a small amount of water in, placing all his flowers into the water. I didn't want to admit it, but I thought it was sweet.

"I wanted this place to be more lively," Donut said, snapping me out of my stare.

"Thank you." I half smiled, still worrying about Church.

I started pacing, waiting for the Doctor to finish and at least tell us Church was okay. I knew we weren't always on the best terms, but I still never want to lose anyone.

-

Tucker had retreated to his room a while ago. Apparently things were going to slowly for him as he wouldn't stop fidgeting.

"Good news," the Doctor said. "He's going to be okay as it's just a mild concussion but you should let him rest for a few days."

I nodded and sighed in relief, glancing over the now newly bandaged Church. Tucker still hadn't come out.

I slowly made my way up to his room, knocking lightly on the door.

"Church is okay." I said through the door, getting no reply. "Can I...come in?"

I heard a soft 'okay' from inside and opened the door quietly. Tucker was sitting on his bed, head against the wall.

"Are you alright?" I asked, standing beside the bed.

"Yeah, dude. I just...fuck. I can't believe I let that happen."

"I know how you feel, Tucker. But there's no point sulking. Church is okay, he's _Church_." I chuckled quietly, earning a small smile from him.

"I guess you're right."

"Come on, stop being a loner."

Tucker scoffed sarcastically, sitting up and following me downstairs. Grif and Simmons were eating some of their own canned food, watching over Church as the Doctor said so. I saw Donut admiring his flowers before he turned round and smiled.

He walked up to me and then basically slammed himself into me, which I assumed was supposed to be a hug. The impact of it caused me to fall over, Donut still hugging me.

I caught a glimpse of Tucker's blush before he turned away and knelt by Church.

"I knew he'd be okay!" Donut chuckled. "You helped him better than I could."

"Y-yeah...well I had to help."

I pushed myself up on my elbows, noticing Grif and Simmons staring in shock. I sighed but then immediately shook my head after they glanced at each other. I pushed Donut into a sitting position and I escaped from under him, helping him up after.

"I'm just glad you helped." He smiled at me brightly, making me roll my eyes.

"It wasn't all me, Donut." I glanced over at Tucker with a smirk, causing Grif and Simmons to look even more confused.

"You guys are so emotional." Grif sighs, almost bored. He eyed Simmons' hand before holding it and smiling. Simmons immediately went completely red and hid his face.

Simmons and Grif holding hands made me jealous, and realise how much I actually hate being lonely.

-

The evening went by casually and Grif convinced me to play a game of cards and stop worrying over Church. Tucker seemed to have it handled as he sat on the floor and watched the game roll out. I was still distracted, so the card game was pretty much a time waster for me.

York had turned up at some point to make sure we were all okay, and ended up staying in the kitchen with some food. He said he was thinking but didn't want to stay on guard while doing so. 

Church shuffled and mumbled something before sitting up and holding his head.

"Whoa...where am I?" He looked around.

"Dude you knocked yourself the fuck out," Tucker said with amusement laced in his voice.

"Actually... I tripped. The infected... I'm not dead right?"

"Lie down you son of a bitch," Tucker demanded, passing him a water bottle.

"Fine, Fine. I'm tired anyway." Church stretches, takes a sip of water and lays back down.

"Yeah we should probably wait till he's all good..." Tucker shrugged, but his voice was still happy. 

"I'll talk to you all tomorrow." York popped his head round the corner, waving at me with a smile. 

"Bye, York." I watched him go as Grif cheered his victory of the game.

_\- Midnight -_

I woke up on a chair by the cold fireplace. I blinked, adjusting my eyes to the pitch blackness of the room. I heard Church's soft breathing from my seat which made me relax my shoulders. I was glad I had company.

I sat in the darkness for what felt like an eternity. It was cold but I didn't mind it for once, just feeling calm and safe.

I think an hour passed. The sky became a little bit lighter, light enough to walk outside and see. I stood up and stretched, checking on Church. He slept soundly as he mumbled a few things. He was a big sleep talker. I searched for the keys as quietly as possible, trying not to wake Church.

I walked into the kitchen and jumped, seeing the silhouette of someone lying against the table. I let out a short breath, going for the keys. They moved around, sitting up.

"Shit, didn't mean to wake you," I said quietly. "You okay?"

"Mhm," I was surprised to find it was York.

"I thought you left?" I said a little louder walking up next to him.

"I wanted to check on you." He mumbled, standing up and wobbling a but.

"Are you sure you're okay?"

York nodded but leant against the table. I put my arm around him to steady him, suddenly smelling something familiar.

"Have you been _drinking_?" I helped him stand up straight. "Where did you even find any?" I wanted to shout at him, but not out of anger.

"I'm sorry, I couldn't stop-" he held his breath for a second. "I wanted to stop thinking." He finished.

"About them?"

He nodded with a feeble ' _Mm_ '. He sounded like he might cry, but I knew York was strong. It was my turn to comfort him anyway.

"It's okay, York. You have me now and I promise I won't die." I slipped my arms around him completely, hugging him.

"I was so happy when I saw you." He mumbled, his hands moving up to my hair.

"Me too. It's okay, I'm not leaving you again."

We stayed hugging like that for ages until Yorks breathing was even. He wasn't shaking anymore and he stood up properly.

"You okay now?" I looked at his good eye, the spark was still somehow there.

He nodded. "Thanks Wash. You were always my favourite."

I blushed, hugging him again. Instead of hugging back, he moved his hands down to my waist and pushed me until my back hit the wall.

"Y-York..." I blushed, looking away. "You're still tipsy."

He smirked, moving forward and kissing me softly on the lips. I felt my whole body go weak as he pressed against me. I felt myself go hot as he pulled away, also a light blush on his cheeks.

"Ohhhhh....Tucker's gonna be maadd." I heard Church's voice whisper, as he was being strangely loopy. York jumped back, blushing even more.

"I-I'd better go," he said, taking the keys and unlocking the door.

"Wait don't go," I watched him stop. "I hate when you're not safe."

York sighs, closing the door. "Fine, I'll sleep down here but you go to bed. I'll keep an eye on Church."

I nodded, going upstairs to my bed. Tucker was in the other as he'd swapped with York. I thought back to what Church said, but collapsed in my bed.

Hopefully tomorrow would be normal and not awkward at all...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I do ship York x Wash occasionally so I put it in here just cause I think they're cute and jokey together oof  
> Also it's hard to write for so many characters but I'm working on it!
> 
> Hope you enjoyed :3


	3. 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey Guys!  
> So so sorry it's been ages since I've updated because of school and other things like that. I'll try and update more often!  
> Here is Chapter 3

_Tuckers_ _ pov _

I couldn't stop thinking.

I never noticed how awkward and embarrassed Wash was until that night I went to get him. He seemed to be so in control when we first met. That was, until Church forced me to tie him up.

I was always staring at him. As soon as I realised I was, I snapped myself out of it, getting embarrassed and hiding. The first thing about him that I love, was his eyes. Bright, shiny blue. Tired, but beautiful.

His pale skin and freckled face added to his adorableness. His sandy blonde hair were all different lengths, probably from when he used to have it shaved. I'd only ever seen him in the clothes I'd met him in, but didn't think he would have much option to change his clothes anyway. Plus that was weird to think about. He always had that same grey hoodie that had faded writing on saying: 'I rule you suck' and yellow stripes down the arms. York was a big fan of him, too.

His personality was something else though. He was smart, sometimes funny but at least he knew how to take a joke. He had knack for being awkward, making things awkward and adding more awkwardness into an awkward situation. The trouble was, I knew he was hiding something that he might not tell anyone but I could tell it was weighing him down. There was obvious pain in everything he did and always had a continuously occupied look. I didn't ask. After a while his pain seemed to turn into his normal self. I didn't like to think about it.

I don't think he liked me. He and Donut were close. Too close for my liking and now York. Wash was just a magnet for...people. What was it about him?

_\- Morning -_

I woke up hazy, looking over at the other bed almost as soon as I opened my eyes. Wash was lying peacefully with the covers over him and I could just hear his quiet breaths. Feeling awkward just staring, I sat up and stretched. I slid out of bed and rushed downstairs to see if Church had woken up or was still completely out of it. I came down to see Caboose kneeling in front of Church with some water and Church sitting up slowly. He looked around the room, possibly still dazed.

"Hey Church." I said, standing next to Caboose. "How d'you feel?"

"My head..." He mutters, reading his hand on his forehead. "Oh yeah...I remember now."

"Fucking idiot," I laugh, looking over at Donut who was reading an old comic he'd found.

"Since when do you read comics?"

Donut looked up, rolling his eyes at me. "Uh, since I could find comics! This place is boring!"

"I agree." Wash came in beside me, shoving his hands in his pockets. I jumped at his voice and watched Donut smile at him happily.

"Yeah well, Church still needs rest so we have to stay here a little while longer." I walk forward and sat down next to Church, drawing Wash's attention.

"I know, it's just boring." Wash shrugs.

"True, there aren't any chicks here." I wink at Wash and he blushes, doing that stupid stutter he does.

"Hey, Tucker." Church looked at me, gesturing for me to move closer.

I did so, staring at the floor and waiting for him to do whatever he was about to do.

"Guess what Wash did last night," he whispered after Wash had left the room.

"What?"

Church broke down into giggles, unable to speak.

"You're a dick." I cross my arms, watching him as he bursts into another fit. "Loopy asshole. All you had was a concussion are you sure you're all good up there?"

"Tucker, I'm _great_ , I'm Church."

I huffed out a laugh, watching Donut read his comic. He didn't seem to care what Church was laughing about.

I get up and walk back to my room, packing some water into my bag and sliding my machete in place. Wash was sitting on his bed, struggling to fit into his shoes.

"Where are you going?" He asks, finally fitting into his shoe. He begins on the other one.

"I'm just exploring. I don't want to get too rusty with this baby."

"Your machete?"

"No, Wash an actual baby. Of course my machete!"

Wash chuckles and forces his shoe on. "Can I come?"

"Bow chikka bow wow." I winked at him. "Yeah, you can."

He stood up shaking his head. I couldn't help but look up to his eyes. Dull, grey, sad. But not as dull as they were before. They looked brighter.

"Earth to Tucker?" He says.

"Sorry...um, what did you say?" I crack my fingers, making him wince slightly.

"You feeling alright?" He moves closer to me, forcing eye contact.

"Yeah, dude, why wouldn't I?"

Wash was about to speak but was cut off my Church's voice.

"Did it just get hot in here or is it me?" Church pulled at the neck of his hoodie, a grin plastered on his face.

Wash quickly backed away from me almost as soon as he heard Church's voice. He rolled his eyes but was obviously embarrassed. 

Wash started cracking his knuckles, flinching at the sound.

"Dude, stop."

-

I said a quick goodbye to Church, telling him where we were going. He seemed to agree, telling us to get some fresh air. I rolled my eyes.

"Do you know how to actually use that?" Wash asked, gesturing to my machete.

"Dude, of course. I found it and rolled with it. Plus it swishes." I laughed, holding the blade forward and slicing the air.

I'd never seen him smile like he did just then, but I adored it already. I looked around for a space to practice, only a space by a children's park. There was enough room to practice and no people. 

"This will do," I said, swiftly moving my wrists to control the blade. I'd gotten used to the weight of it and I'd grown attached to it.

"You have good stance," Wash said, standing and watching. "Don't be so stiff tho."

"Bow chikka-"

"Shut up!" Wash smiled either way, but continued talking. "Think of it as a part of you, okay? Like an extra addition."

I nodded, lifting my arm and cutting of through the air as if it was an infected. Wash nods, walking up to me.

"Its a bit blunt," he laughs, dragging his finger across the blade without a cut.

"I usually just use strength, not the sharpness."

"That's good, but it'll be easier if it's sharper. Easy to cut through things."

"Okay, Dad. I'll remember that." I shrug, "I guess York didn't sharpen it that well."

He shrugs moving back and sitting down, watching as I continued to practise what he said. I guess he's trained in all kinds of knives.

"You'll get there." He teased, falling onto his back and staring up at the clouds.

"Prick!" I threw my machete down and tackled him, forcing my weight on him.

He sighed and rolled us over, pinning my shoulders to the ground. He was grinning like an idiot. "Weak." He said, moving off me and standing up.

"Oh yeah? Come on then," I jumped up, lifting my fists up at him and pretending to punch him. He grabbed both of wrists and twisted me round in one small move. I laughed, a little pain going up my arms. "Ouch, okay okay, you win!"

He pressed up against me, so close I could feel his breath down my neck and I had to stop myself from shivering. This was definitely payback for the other day, so I simply accepted my fate.

"That's what I thought," He let go of my wrist and stepped back. I twisted my wrists and stretched my arms.

A few seconds later I felt cold metal against the side of my neck. I shivered.

"Wash, didn't know you were into that." I winked and he pressed a little harder, grinning.

"You should be more cautious," he said, pushing the machete into my hand. "You'd be dead by now."

"Whatever dude," I put my machete back in its place at my back. "Don't be surprised if you find it against _your_ neck though."

He chuckles, his voice was low. I glanced towards the street, seeing a familiar grey cap. He waved and jogged over to us.

"Hey man, what're you guys doing?" York said, looking back and forth at us.

"Just some practice," Wash shrugs. "Once Church is better we're heading out. This place is boring."

York nods. "I know."

I could almost see the tension between them. Was it tension? Or awkwardness? They seemed fine yesterday.

"Wash, can we talk?" York says.

I smile and shake my head. "I'll see ya at home?" I tell Wash, walking away.

_'About last night'_

I sighed, trying to walk faster and not think about what they were talking about.

-

I walked into the house, seeing Church was standing up without wobbling and he was less loopy now.

"Tucker! You're back!" Caboose said excitedly. "Grif and Simons came here while you were gone."

"Caboose," I laughed. "Its _Simmons_ and why are they here?"

"They said they were bored and cards were not boring." Caboose said with a smile, gazing over at Grif, Simmons and Donut, who were apparently playing 21.

"Thanks Caboose. How's Church?"

"Good! He's great! He said he was okay to walk but I don't know..."

"What's wrong?" I follow Caboose into the Kitchen where Church was.

He was smiling to himself. "He's been acting weird and it's scaring me." Caboose whispered quickly.

"Church, you good dude?" I sit down next to him. He nodded staring at the wall.

"I'm nearly ready to leave trust me. How was your thing?" He asked, looking at the machete on my back.

"Yeah it was good." I chuckled nervously, rubbing my wrists. "Learned stuff, nothin' big."

Church wiggled his eyebrows and I punched him, going to sit with Grif. Donut glanced at me as I set my bag down.

"Where's Wash?" He asks, his face slightly concerned.

"With York. Grif, what're we playing?" I changed the subject, ignoring Donuts gaze burning holes in me.

-

_\- 2 days later -_

It was around midday when there was a loud banging at the door. Church expected it to be York, but as he opened the door he was pushed over by an unfamiliar man. He was tall and strong, practically breaking Church's smaller frame.

Wash sprung up, his eyes were narrowed and he looked _pissed_.

"What are you doing?" He asks, voice deep and rough. I couldn't help but think about that controlling voice in other scenarios.

"Weapons are not allowed to be used inside the walls," the man said, his voice almost just as stern as Wash's. The man was holding a pistol tightly in his hand, clearly ready to aim it if anyone made any bad moves. He looked like one of the perimeter guards.

Wash's mood changed. He lifted Church up, quickly and helped him sit down, as his head was probably still killing him.

"What are you going to do, then?" Wash says, his voice holding the same roughness.

"I want to ask a few questions-"

"Next time, don't hurt my fucking friend." Wash sounded like he was about to snap, which silenced the room. He was so protective.

" _Questions_ please." The guard puts his pistol away and I could easily see Wash's shoulders loosen.

"Go on." Wash says.

"How long were you planning on staying?"

"We were leaving tomorrow." Wash says, voice less angry.

"We were?" Grif said, shuffling his cards. "I'm on vacation."

Both Wash and the guard ignored him while Simmons shushed him and made small talk with him.

"Have you used any weapons during your stay?"

"No." Wash was grinding his teeth, glancing behind the guard. York was running up to the door with a gentle laugh.

"Hey! Hey man, its all good here." York catches the guards attention and slips inside. "They're all okay."

"York, this is a priority. Don't get involved."

"Tell the man in charge everything's good okay? I got these guys under control. Back off." York put his hand on the door, ready to close it.

Wash's face softened, watching Yorks every move. I rolled my eyes to myself. York seemed to have things more under control than Wash, so why was he so worried?

"York, you're not gonna be on his good side after this. Last chance." The guard said, backing away. York slammed the door closed, turning around with a forced smile. 

"York!" Wash rushed over to him, seeing the bruise on his jaw. "Are you okay?"

"Wash, I can take a bruise." York chuckled, patting his shoulders. "Trust me, I'm okay."

"Who was that?" Simmons asked, voicing everyone's thoughts.

"He's supposed to protect the people here, but he's not very good at it." York explained, glancing at Wash again. "Bad news, though."

"Oh good, I love that phrase." I say, crossing my arms.

"You've been here long enough. I was able to buy you a few more days for Church, but times up. They need space." York sighs in defeat. "You have to pack up and leave early tomorrow."

Grif groaned, letting his head fall back on the sofa. I chuckled, earning a playful glare from him.

"Let's pack up then." Wash slouches, slowly making his way upstairs.

I followed, emptying the stuff in my bag. Two water bottles, a pistol and spare ammo, bandages and a few cans of food. I assumed we were going to stock up before we go, so I shoved those things back in my bag, sheathed my machete and rummaged through the drawers for spare clothes. I grabbed a black t-shirt and underwear, assuming it was enough.

Wash grabbed similar things. He was being the most quiet he had in a long time. I didn't like it. I like it when he talked and smiled, now he was that distant stranger again.

-

"Are you all finished?" York said as we gathered in the lounge. He guessed we had. "Good."

"So, first thing tomorrow we're leaving?" Church said, placing his bag in the floor.

"Yeah, sorry guys. This place was supposed to be welcome for everyone." York sighed, glancing at everyone's full bag.

Wash closed his eyes for a few seconds. I knew that face. He makes whenever he's preparing for something horrible, even thought its not that bad.

"Wash," I stand in front of, holding his wrists gently. "Stop being edgy. Don't let your guard down, remember?"

He smiled faintly, nodding. He looked down at me with those grey eyes. They'd gone dull again.

"You have us." I took a short breath in and let go of him with a smile. I hoped it would reassure him.

"Thank you."

-

I woke up to Wash shaking me gently. There was a thin light coming through the window, dark light. I groaned, never wanting to leave the covers.

"Come on, Tucker. Grab your bag and get your shoes on." Wash gently pulls the covers off. "Just imagine we're going to the airport really early. Remember those days?"

I mumbled and sat up, watching him leave the room. His bag was already over his shoulders and he looked back at me quickly. "Hurry up."

I pull my shoes on and tie the laces tighter. I forgot to be so cautious being in this village, I'd forgotten that it was important. I stretched and pulled my bag over my shoulders, making sure my machete was comfortable and easy to draw.

I stumbled a few times down the stairs, seeing Wash, York, Donut and Simmons standing in a small group. Church and Caboose were skimming a map and Grif was apparently in bed. I stood next to Wash, lightly bumping his shoulder. He gave me a small smile.

We were first in search of Donuts' friend and then hopefully the other twos' friend. If we did succeed in finding them though, there'd be ten people in the whole group, which wouldn't be good. Mouths to feed, people to look out for.

"Since we're going to that safe place next, we're going to need a plan if things go to shit." York said, his voice was a mix of strong leader and weak follower.

"Why can't we just go with the flow?" Grifs' voice says behind them. He stretched and shrugged.

"Felix may as well be crazy. So crazy he has everything under control." York says. "Once you're in, its a whole new shitty world."

York got the idea of his plan out in its simplest form. Three go in, Four stay outside the walls. We would add ideas while we walked and once we got there, it would go one of two ways. The safe haven will be safe and easy to be let in and out, or it will be like a trap camp. Once your in, no way out. York was right. It was dangerous.

-

We set out towards the gates, York leading them. Church stopped in his tracks.

"Church? Come on." I turn towards him. "The fuck are you doing?"

"I have to say goodbye to her! Tucker, wait, don't go yet." Church walks back the way we came, heading to one of the houses. I yell at him and follow, wondering if he was still loopy from his head.

Church knelt down and I watched the little girl run up to him happily.

"Hey!" Church tickled her, ruffling her hair. "I have to go now, little one. Can I ask your name?"

"My name is Emilie! Why are you leaving?" She pouts, holding onto Church's sleeve.

"You know when I said I was a hero and had to protect you all from monsters?" Church smiled sadly.

"You going to use your power to save us!?" Emilie sang, she smiled so purely.

"That's right, Emilie." Church pauses. "My name is Leonard, call me Leo. Leo is my superhero name, got it?"

"Leo! Thank you for protecting Mumma! And me!" Emilie put her hand in her pocket, taking out a chain bracelet with a small cat charm on it. "This is your good luck to keep to safe!"

"Thank you, I'll wear it everyday. Goodbye now, Emilie." Church shakes her small hand. He opens up his bag and searches through it, his eyes shiny from tearing up. He eventually pulled out a stuffed toy. It was a blue and pink unicorn.

"I saved this for you," Church handed over the toy. "Never loose it."

He looked up, seeing Emilie's mother walk out and approach them. Church stood up and Emilie hugged his leg.   
Her mother looked at Church with a smile.

"Goodbye Emilie, I'll see you again soon." Church ruffled her hair once more and walked back with me to the group. He looked back once more and waved, almost crying.

"Dude," I said. "I've never seen you nearly cry before."

"I hope she makes it." Church mutters out, following York through the gates and look back one more time. He slipped on the small bracelet with a smile.

-

We walked for hours. There were hardly any infected anywhere and our walk was mostly silent.

I'd fallen into step with Wash at the back, thoughts pulling me out of the real world. I was walking slowly, my legs aching and my heels and ankles hurting every step I took. I'd noticed that Grif and Simmons were holding hands, both had rings on their finger.

"How long have we been walking...?"

"Um...hours?" Wash replied with a sigh.

"Dude, I hurt."

"A while until we get to that safe zone. Gonna need to get your strength up." Church called back as I slowed a little and jumped on Wash's back. He stumbled forwards a bit but kept his balance, holding my legs.

"Warn me next time, you stupid bitch."

I flopped my arms over his shoulders and lightly around his neck. I rested my chin on his shoulder and play with the strings of his hoodie.

"Nah."

He sighed and continued walking normally after hoisting me up into a more comfortable position.

-

It was early evening by now, the sun was beginning to set behind the trees. I looked over the valleys, seeing nothing but green grass and trees. No safe zone in sight. We must have walked miles, as there was at least two hours where no one spoke at all. 

The whole group was worn out and exhausted, Caboose and Donut having sat down against a tree and having a hard time keeping their eyes open.

I was surprised Wash had actually been okay with carrying me this whole time, he didn't even ask for a break himself, though we had a couple rest stops.

I decided to slide off his back and take out his water from his bag. He drank an excessive amount when I gave it to him. No surprise there. I took back the bottle and shoved it in his bag, getting out my own and drinking, as everyone was. Wash took one step but collapsed, pulling his knees up and groaning.

"We'll rest here for tonight." Church said, placing one hand on his hip. Caboose nodded, half asleep.

"I had to carry him for hours." Wash shuffled and sat up, glaring at me playfully.

"You didn't say anything! How was I supposed to know you're not as strong as you look."

"Well I'm sorry, I didn't know you were heavier then you looked." He growled. "Also I felt bad..."

"Oh God, you're such a baby." I folded my arms, trying not to smile.

"Excuse you, I am a delight." he replied in a pretend, offended tone.

Our stupid 'argument' was stopped by Church who sighed and shook his head.

"You two love birds should really stop fighting. It's not good in a relationship." he smirked.

Wash went immediately red, his body tensing and going completely silent.

"Fucking hell, now I know why Tucker calls you Mister Awkward." Church clapped his hands once, making Wash flinch.

"You call me Mister Awkward?" Wash turned around to me, folding his arms now as his redness started to fade. He was pretending but I can't say I _didn't_ feel a little intimidated. It was _hot._

Church tossed some cans of food on the floor, breaking up our ' _stare-off_ _'_

"Share it out. I expect you'll need it if we're setting out tomorrow. And Tucker, no you can't go on Wash's back the whole time." Church shook his head at me.

"Aww, but i-"

"Nope. We all know how heavy you are."

"Well you can't say much. Fatty."

"What? I'm not fat! Hey it's not my fault. It's a lot of stress carrying a group with a lump like you in it." he defended himself, throwing a knife on the floor to open the cans.

"I thought that was gonna be really interesting but then you called me a lump and made it shit. Why don't I take your place for a while?" I kicked it the mud.

"Oh fuck no. You would kill us all." Church imitated a knife to his throat, pretending he died. "Plus, it's not like I wanted to lead this group, you all just relied on me." He continued.

"What about Wash? Or York?"

Everyone turned and looked at him, but he was oblivious with his back turned and looking around for something. York rolled his eyes but smiled.

"He's done more in a few weeks than you've done in a lifetime." Church started, "but I still don't trust him."

I shut up after that and pouted, leaning against a tree in annoyance. Not that it would do anything, just wanted everyone to know. I watched everyone open a can and share it out but I ignored it, still annoyed and not hungry.

He muttered something as I walked but didn't hear it, so I bit my tongue in frustration. I watched York walk over to Wash, trying to offer some food. I guess even good guy York couldn't get him to eat either.

-

After everyone had eaten, they all settled down either leaning on each other and falling asleep, or staying awake and chatting quietly. Wash was talking with York, sitting right next to him so they were touching. I hated that. Stupid Wash. 

Church had managed to get a fire started to keep the cold away, and everyone huddled around it. Soon everyone was asleep, except myself, Church, Wash and York.

"Wait so... You two _aren't_ in a relationship? It _was_ just me?" Church clicked his fingers, getting my attention.

"We're not together! We're just friends. Is that so hard it believe?"

"Well, you've never hugged me before." he grinned, pretending to look at his nails.

"I've hugged you idiot and how is that relevant?"

"Yeah... But some of us know what you think about b-"

"Whooaaa, I'm gonna stop you right there! Don't you even dare say anything or you won't wake up tomorrow." I threatened him before he could go on, hoping he wouldn't.

"Alright alright. Secrets safe with me. But still. You don't like him?"

"No! I don't even know him that well." I started to get flustered which was a huge hint, but I didn't like him. And I knew that. 

"There's always love at first sight." Church winked at me, becoming more interested in actually examining his nails than talking.

"He has Donut and York anyway..." I mumbled.

I watched Church for a few minutes, not acknowledging that Wash had come to sit over with us. I'd only noticed when he just sat near Church. I glanced at him and turned away from him.

Church grinned at me, rolling his eyes. Wash just sat still, staring at something in his hand. It looked something like a necklace, it's dull shine was only just visible in the disappearing light. It had a small heart charm on the end which made me curious. Maybe he lost someone?

I got a glare from Church who told me that it was none of my business. I just wanted him to open up about _something_. Anything.

"Hey man, y'alright?" Church glanced at him and the necklace, making an unusual face. 

"Yeah." Wash said, looking like he was dreaming or hallucinating or something. York sat down beside him. Wash gazed at him for a few seconds, nodding.

We were silent, wondering if he'd speak more.

"So, I used to have a group," Wash looked confused like he was asking himself. "There was a lot of fighting and she- Texas, was always outgoing."

Church blinked and then looked up. I nearly shouted at Wash just because I was confused now.

"I'm sorry...Texas?" Church said, looking intently at Wash.

Wash's interest suddenly perked up and he lifted his head, looking at the both of us intently. He looked more than confused and certainly shocked. I was caught off track when I saw his eyes glint, but snapped out of it when Church spoke.

"So...she isn't dead? Where did she go?"

"Not sure where she went. She _might've_ gotten this far." Wash shrugged. "How do you know her?"

Church groaned, pulling his fingers through his hair. "She was my girlfriend man, we travelled together for a while but, you know."

"She ran away." I said. I remember that night, everything was so fucked.

"Yeah...she ran away from us too." York was staring at the dirt, making shapes in it with his shoe. He shook his head and lay down, looking up at the stars. "Small world."

Wash lay down on his side, face leaning on his hands as he closed his eyes.

After a few hours, me and Church started talking. Everyone should have been asleep, so Church assumed this was a good time to talk.

"D'you think he's cute?" Church smirked, his eyes half narrowed.

"What? No... I don't know, what kind of question _is_ that?"

"Look dude, you can talk freely now. He's havin' his beauty sleep." He glanced up at me shaking his head jokingly.

"So that's why he looks so good..." I mumbled to myself, biting my nails.

"What was that, Tucker?"

"What? Nothing. I didn't say anything."

"Yeeaaah you did. What'd you say, man?" Church's voice changed into a teasing one.

"Nothing! I didn't say anything, I was just thinking what to do tomorrow."

"What, ask him out? Aw, Tucker."

"Church! What is the matter with you? Are you tired?"

"Okay, but really. What'd you say?" He bit his bottom lip, trying to hide his smile. I looked over at Wash, his peaceful breathing showed he was asleep. At least that's what I hoped.

"Fine! I said 'that's why he looks so good'..."

Church had a fake heart-attack, falling on his back in the ground, chuckling. He just about missed York, who turned over on his side.

"I knew it! You like him, don't you!?" He whisper-shouted, hushing his voice.

"No! I don't! It's just he looks hot sometimes...You can't blame me."

"Okay Tucker. I believe you. You really need to get laid though." He waved me off, lying on his bag and leaving me on watch.

I pulled my hoodie tighter around me, trying to keep my body heat from escaping. I pulled my knees to my chest and started thinking about Wash, almost instinctively. I thought about what it would be like to kiss him. How soft it would be. And which side he'd take. Top? Maybe his knees on my hips and his hands by my head, looking over me with those eyes... How good his tongue would feel and his lips and-

I mentally slapped myself and rested my chin on my knees. I stayed awake until it was completely dark and all I could hear was soft breathing. The fire was still warming up my front, but it was dying down and it was too dark to see.

It was a few minutes later when I felt something being put around my shoulders. I was immediately alert but when I turned and looked, I relaxed. I slumped my shoulders over and silently thanked for the coat that Wash had put around me. He took a seat beside me which gave me a chance to look at his arms. There wasn't much to see in the dark, but I saw that his arms, too, were pale and freckled, much like his face. But it had scars. And burns marks.

"Why are you-" I was cut off by him as he interrupted.

"Earlier. I heard you. D'you like me?" He looked down, playing with the same necklace in his hands.

"You were awake? Fucking dammit."

"Well?" He looked back up at me, his eyes almost full of hope. My eyes had thankfully adjusted to the darkness.

"I...I don't know, I don't know. Why d'you _want_ to know?"

"Tucker, it's a simple question. I just don't know if you're thinking straight." His voice dropped after he said the words, 'I don't know if you're thinking straight'. I was thinking gay.

"I'm tired, Wash. Exhausted. Those weeks back then were the best I've had in a while and I just...its fucking hard to know what I feel anymore." I let out a sigh, leaning against Wash as he put his arms around me.

I was glad for the comfort but I was angry at myself for...everything. I was angry at him for not letting me deal with it or leave me alone. But I was glad I wasn't alone and he was here with me. Wash stayed quiet. 

"We'll be able to rest soon, I promise. No more worrying."

"I don't want to forget him, Wash." I closed my eyes.

"Forget who?"

His voice was surprisingly soft, even though normally he sounds like a bear with voice problems... or something. Especially in the morning, but right now he was quiet. Light and fluffy, like candy floss.

"Junior. We had a kid. He got bit."

"Don't forget him then. Remember the good times." His voice was dreamy.

After I'd fully recovered, I became embarrassed with the extra contact. I went hot very quickly, thanking fuck that it was dark. My gaze fell on his eyes, though I couldn't see much. I looked back at the ground and closed my eyes, rethinking everything and regretting everything. I'm a mess. I turned back to Wash again and followed his eyes, the moon causing them to glint occasionally when he moved them.

"Wash. Thanks, I-"

His hand reached up and cupped my cheek softly, pressing his lips against my own. His lips _were_ soft _._ My heart was so loud I was afraid he could hear it.

It was brisk as the seconds flew by quickly. He pulled away and left me feeling odd and he simply just lay down, back facing me. I was all over the place. I sat in my own silence for minutes before I could comprehend what had happened.

I traced my lips with my fingers, not knowing what to think or if it was even real. I didn't know if I was dreaming because I was so tired and was slipping in and out of sleeps, the things that happened in between were all just fuzzy and unreal. As soon as I lay down on my bag, I immediately passed out feeling exhausted.

-

I awoke abruptly, sitting up on my elbows. I looked up at the light blue sky and squinted my eyes against the sun. It was late afternoon. Shouldn't we be awake by now? As soon as the thought struck me I looked around, confused. Nobody was here. I looked up at to where I thought Wash would be but he wasn't there. There was no one. Maybe they just left me? I am one for sleeping late. But they wouldn't do that, right? Did they abandon me?

I stood up, feeling light headed and dizzy. I looked around but still, there was no one. Was I dreaming? I was so confused that I just stood in shock.

"Heeyy! Look who's finally awake!" I heard a voice call, that sounded a lot like Church.

I spun around and relaxed quickly. There was the group, walking towards me.

"Guys! Did you just leave me here!?"

"You looked too peaceful to wake up. Don't blame me. Blame yourself." Church laughed, fully walking up to me.

"What if something happened!? I'd be dead right now... And where am I? What is happening!"

"You're... here? Tucker are you still tired?" His expressions changed to those of concern.

"What! But we talked about... what!?" I noticed that Wash was missing, but saw that Junior was standing behind Church.

"I think your dreaming, Tucker. You really need some sleep."

"Where's Wash?"

"Wash? Tucker... He's dead, remember?" Church looked at me confused and I bit my lip, staring blankly at Church.

"... Am I dreaming?"

"What the fuck are you babbling about? God, have some water."

-

"Tucker! Wake up you fucker, we're leaving in five!"

I sat up immediately, being awoke by Church who had thrown my bag at me somehow. After quickly looking around and checking everyone, I relaxed instantly. I fell back on the ground, shading my eyes with my arm from the early morning sun.

"Ugghhh I just had the weirdest dream..."

"Ooo what was it?" Church wolf whistled, making me cringe.

"I could say it was about me horribly murdering you, but sadly not. It was confusing, to say the least."

I lazily took the water from my bag and drank a few gulps, hoping to quench my thirst before we left. In fact I might as well ask.

"When are we going?

"We're going when your ready. It'll be ages till we get there, you know. Don't get your hopes up." Church pulled his bag over his shoulders, helping Caboose when he was done.

"So I could take as long as I like?"

"No, you just have to pack up and then we're leaving." Church replied harshly but had a sly smile on his face.

"Yawn. How boring. I thought maybe there'd be time for you and Caboose to have some alone time." I stretched and stood up, glancing at Caboose who seemingly didn't care and just smiled. Church glared at me but not seriously, he knew I was joking. Definitely joking.

"Caboose. Where did my water go?" Church turns to Caboose.

"Tucker did it." Caboose said as Church saw his bottle had no water in. He sighed, trying not to get angry.

I chuckled, earning a glance from Church. I noticed Wash hadn't spoken at all, unlike the others. He was on his own, back turned to us and he had that same necklace in his hands. He was ready to go but with me being a late sleeper, I held everyone up.

I took notice of Grif and Simmons who were small talking and giggling, sometimes quickly kissing. Donut and Caboose had been good friends lately, standing and talking with each other. Church was like a third wheel in that group now. York was mostly with Wash now. They seemed to fit together like a puzzle. 

"Okay guys. Last minute check we're leaving, do what the heck you need to do now." Church ordered, making the action start.

-

We began walking at a slow pace, everyone's body was aching from yesterdays painful walk. My legs burned every time we have to walk up a small slope, which was saying a lot. Maybe staying in that place for too long softened us.

I kept thinking back to last night, the way Wash's lips felt on my mine, his steady, warm breath. I desperately wanted to feel his lips again, those soft heavenly lips.

"Tucker," I felt a nudge against my ribs. "You look a little distracted." Church snickered, biting his lip.

"Just wondering what it'll be like." I forced out, but wanting to tell him everything I was feeling. He was my best friend after all.

-

_\- one week later -_

I trailed behind Church, whining from how much my legs hurt. York made a hand movement, which I assumed meant stop, but why I had no clue.

"Okay, guys. Let's pitch here and go over our plan." York told everyone to sit as he took a deep breath. "Wash, Tucker, Donut and I are going to go in. You four make a uh, hideout somewhere or something and wait for us." York managed to convince Church that he was too much of a loudmouthed to go, and he was better protecting Caboose.

"If we aren't out in 3 days, do _not_ come and look for us. We'll find a way out and you'll know when we do."

York stood up, telling them to hide. "If you see any guards stay low, stay hidden. Do not let them get you."

I walked in the middle of York and Wash, feeling the uncomfortable blade under the sole of my shoe. Wash offered his knives to us, but only Donut declined.

We approached the gate, two guards stood on top on the wall, one making hand signals to other behind. Each guard had a rifle, two of the taller and smaller framed guards appeared and held crossbows, aimed professionally.

_'Solidarity'_

They had a poster pinned to a telephone pole, with its Title and directions. One name stood out, _Felix._

As soon as they saw us, the one to the left pulled up his gun, making the four of us put our hands up. The thing he said now, confused and surprised.

"Donut? How longs' it been!?" The guy on the left half lowered his gun. After he said that the man on the right of him leaned on the fencing, looking down at us.

"Not long enough!" Donut called back, putting up his middle finger for a few seconds. He looked pissed for the first time since we brought him along.

"Donut? Are you sure it's him?" The guy on the right asked the one next to him, earning an upset look from Donut.

"Franky, it's me! I think I'd know if I was myself!" Donut called up with a relieved grin. He pointed to the purple bandana on his neck and the guards eyes widened.

"Donut? Is that really you?" He said, a smile forming on his face.

"Yes!" Donut was gripping the bandana now in his hands. "Let us in!"

This might be Doc then. If so, that's one less person to look for. There were a few quiet excited sentences from Doc that no one could hear as we were all jumped by the gates of the entrance opening up.

York stepped forward, followed by Wash. I stood and watched Donut rush forward and into Doc's arms. 

"It's so good to see you again!" Donut practically threw himself at Doc, causing him to stumble. The hug was a lot of exchanged emotions and we all awkwardly stood there, half watching and half looking around. Doc looked up making a quick hand signal and the gate was slowly shut by two guards.

"I've missed you," Doc hugged him back as Donut buried his face in the crook of his neck.

"Franky, why did you never come back?" Donut looked up at him, smile a little smaller.

"Donut, we can talk later okay? There's some things we have to do first okay?"

Donut nodded, stepping away and back with the rest of us.

"First we'll need your names, current injuries and you're mental health." Doc explained as a tall, dark skinned man approached them. "This is Lopez."

This Lopez wore a black trench coat, worn brown army boots and trousers. His T-shirt was a red-brown colours, covered in sewn holes and patches. He had long hair down to his shoulders.

He handed us one clipboard with a piece of paper.

"We'll do a weapons check," Doc scanned the four of us quickly. "Use your real names, by the way."

Once we'd all written down the details, I handed the clipboard to Lopez, who turned on his heel swiftly with a nod.

I glanced around, seeing that the houses were carefully taken care of. Apart from some cracked windows, each of them had white or black curtains, drawn or closed. There was another building in the middle of the town with a red and green symbol, possibly a pharmacy?

Lopez came out from an important looking house, windows seemed polished and the window ledges were perfectly white. Inside were a few desks and a couple of people looking out the window and talking.

"Lopez will show you around. For now, we need to take your bags and weapons." Doc pointed to a small shed just by the gates. "We'll be keeping them there after an examination."

I sighed in relief, glad I had left my machete back with Church, even though I felt unsafe without it.

"So, does anyone actually lead this place?" Wash speaks up, slipping off his bag and dropping his pistol next to it.

"Felix made up the whole thing from scratch," Doc said, but he didn't seem to sound so proud. "He's an odd guy."

Wash nodded, looking around. "Do we have somewhere to stay, then?"

"Since there are only four of you, you'll be getting a smaller house." Doc said and glanced at Lopez. "Lopez will show you to your house and we'll let you settle in."

"Before we do," York said. "We're only at staying for three days."

Doc nodded to Lopez once. "That'll be fine."

Lopez then looked at us and started walking down the road, pointing out some apartments. They were for single travellers. The houses on the other hand, were meant for larger groups. We were supposedly one, so Lopez had opened the door of a house with a red door and three numbers.

_'479'_

This place is pretty organised. We bundled into the house and were left to get comfortable.

While we were getting ready and choosing a room, all I could think about during that, was when Wash kissed me last night. We hadn't spoken all day today and I really didn't know how to feel about it. I just kept remembering _how_ it felt. Soft.

It was after I'd got comfortable in one of the rooms when Wash stood in the doorway.

"You okay? You've been really off since this morning," Wash asked with concern.

"I was gonna ask the same thing." 

"I'm good." He shrugged, sitting on the other bed.

"What do you think they do here? To keep it so tidy and organised?" 

"Workers? I noticed some people working on the wall." He mumbled, flopping down on the bed.

I waited a few minutes before asking what I really wanted.

"So," I started. "About last night." I cringed, remembering that was exactly what York said to him.

"Yeah?" He replied, embarrassment clear in his face already. From what I could see.

"Why'd you do it?"

"Heat of the moment?" He wasn't so red anymore, but I was disappointed. Did that mean he did it just because?

His grey eyes were gazing at me and I wanted to look away, yet I didn't move.

"Fair enough."

Wash eventually tore his eyes away from mine, looking down at the necklace. I crossed my legs, noticing how his hair was slightly messy.

"Tucker." he held the necklace out to me, biting his lip and avoiding eye contact with me.

"What is this, a proposal?"

He shrugged, a small smile forming about his lips. He _laughed._

"I don't want this as a reminder, so you can have it."

I took the necklace, dying inside from the most adorable laugh he did. It was so shy and quiet.

"You sure?" I thought it was special to him, that's why he kept holding it.

"Please." he managed to say.

"Alright, but don't come asking for it back."

He nods contently, with a small smile.


	4. 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey Guys! Chapter 4 coming right up!  
> Hope you all enjoy! :)

_Tuckers_ _ pov _

The next day was already a rush. We'd been woken up early by loud banging at the door and then ordered to get ready. We were told to go to the front gates for an introduction. We were meeting Felix today.

I stood leaning my weight on one side. Felix apparently lived in the house by the gates, so we were all gazing at the door, waiting for him to come out. It took only a few minutes before he was walking out, dressed in mostly black with an orange scarf round his neck.

"Nice to meet you all," He said calmly, standing in front of us. "Today, you'll be told about what we do here. It's simple, really. You can't stay if you don't work." 

"My name is Felix and I've read over your details but please, introduce yourselves properly." His voice was in a way, annoying, but we couldn't deny him.

_Lavernius_   
_James_   
_David_   
_Franklin_

Because of course Wash's real name was David. I liked it, though.

"Great start," Felix placed a hand on his hip. "Well this is our safe haven and we've taken your weapons because of safety. You'll get them back in a week to gain the trust of civilians."

It was already a lot to take in, with Felix's attitude. He seemed normal to me, so maybe it was York and Wash being paranoid? A few seconds later, Doc had made his way up to us, standing next to Felix.

"You'll be assigned jobs in a week, depending on what you're good at." Felix mumbles something to Doc. "As you know, we need to take precautions. That means bite checks, injury checks and let's say, psychological checks."

We were silently led to the pharmacy in the middle of the town. Upon entering, there was a small desk with a woman in a white lab coat. She was leaning back in a chair, her feet up on the desk. Two other women walked in, also in white coats but their clothes underneath looked ragged. The woman sitting down looked up, grazing her eyes over York and Wash.

"Meet Tex, Kai and Connie." Felix said, walking through a door behind the desk. "Come on."

It was pretty empty in the room, except for the shelves and a few scattered chairs. One of them, Kai, was lining the chairs in a row. Felix flipped a switch and a few lights buzzed on, flickering.

"There's electricity here?" I asked. Since when?

"Only here. It runs on a generator and we don't have enough to power all the lights." Kai pointed to the chairs, forcing us all to sit.

"Pleasure to see you three again."

York looked up with a glare that looked like it could kill. "Tex, how are you even alive?"

Wash rolled his eyes at York, nudging him slightly. "So what are you going to do?"

"Take your shirts off, boys." Kai says, smirking. Connie looked over at her, unamused.

"Whoa, wait," I said, looking at Tex. "Where did you go?"

"Take your t-shirts off and I'll tell you," she said, standing in front of Wash with her arms crossed. Connie stood by York and Kai was smirking at me.

We each took our t-shirts off, standing up and being checked briefly. .

"Once I left you guys, I walked till I found Fe here," Tex paused, grabbing Wash's arm with a questioning look. "Or I saw this place on one of their shitty posters and decided to find it."

Tex unwrapped the bandage on Wash's arm, grabbing some antiseptic and fresh bandages from a shelf. I saw burn scars across his chest and waist. I didn't want to think about how he got them. York had a similar burn just over his shoulder.

"Made a couple of friends," Tex continued, wrapping his wound swiftly.

I shivered as I felt Kai's hands on my back. I forgot that I usually cut myself on my machete putting it back, so I was relived she was just cleaning them up.

"Did anyone else live?" Connie spoke up, moving to Donut and checking him.

"Just us." York said, plainly, clearly hitting a soft spot.

Once Wash was finished, he quickly pulled his T-shirt and hoodie on.

"Anyway," Felix interrupted, "we done here?"

Tex nodded, stepping back and letting us out our clothes back on. "Oh, one more thing?" She said.

York nodded but she looked over at me. "Is Church okay?"

I got a sly glare from York. I didn't want to lie. They _wer_ e basically a couple. I shook my head, unable to think of anything to say. I saw her shoulders slouch ever so slightly, but she quickly recovered.

"Got it." She said, glancing to Kai and Connie. "Shall we?" The three smirked.

As they left, I got a wink from Kai and I felt myself go hot, looking away. We quickly put out clothes back on and was lead out by Felix.

"Oh, David," Felix said as we walked outside. I saw Wash flinch at his real name. "I have to talk to you about something."

I glanced at Wash and he shrugged staying behind as the rest of us walked back to our house.

_Wash's POV_

I watched the other walk down the road casually. Felix was standing next to me watching them to. I turned and looked at him.

"What is it?"

"Actually, I wanted to show you something." Felix grinned, pointing to an old house to the left side of the city.

"Oh, okay?" I start to follow him towards the building.

He seemed so normal, waving slightly at civilians and smiling, but he felt off. It might've just been me, but I hated how he acted.

"Where are we going?" I quickened my walk, trying to keep up with him.

"Just somewhere I wanted to show you. I know who you are." Felix looked at me, smirking.

"You know me?"

"You sure ask a lot of questions," He put a hand on my shoulder. "They've made you soft."

I stayed quiet, trying to piece together what he meant in my head. Felix walked up to the door and opened it slowly. It didn't look as well kept as the other houses, but the inside was tidy and homely.

"Follow me." Felix walked over to a tower of boxes. He pushed then aside, revealing a white door. "Go on."

I stepped forward, opening the door into darkness. I heard the flick of a switch and two bright white lights turned on, showing a wooden chair on its own. I looked around the room more, seeing a similar box, except it had some different knives and a pistol.

"What _is_ this?" I asked, being nudged down the stairs.

I stepped down them, unable to turn back. Felix followed behind closing the door and placing the box on the chair.

"This is..." He picked up a knife and lifted it in front of him. "Well, this is where we'll be talking."

"Talking about what?" I suddenly felt myself go cold and Felix turned around, walking behind me.

"I say talking but really, this was your friends idea." I felt cold steel on my throat and Felix's arm over my shoulder. "Tex."

"Talking about _what?_ " I repeat, unable to think about anything else.

"Let me ask you something," Felix moved the knife to the back of my neck, moving it down my spine. "Do you know what Carolina was involved with?"

"How do you-" I tensed, feeling the point of the knife dig into my skin.

"Carolina caused the death of, _oh so many people._ "

I held my breath, closing my eyes. "That's not true." I knew it was. She got North killed. And...

"You know it is," He removed the knife, chucking it back into the box.

"I didn't-"

"And you were involved. All of you were." Felix turned round, another grin on his face. "My _fucking_ friends. Tex's friends!"

"What are you talking about? Tex started the whole thing!" I started to back up closer to the stairs.

" _Tex_ _started thi_ s, _Tex_ _started that,_ " Felix pulled his fingers through his hair. "You're not a kid are you?"

I looked at the ground, feeling the first step hit my ankle. I wanted to leave, but something was keeping me here. Curiosity. How did Felix know all this?

"How do you know this?"

Felix burst out laughing, holding his sides. "Carolina didn't even tell you about _me?_ " He laughed for another few seconds.

I waited for him to speak again and he looked up at me, still grinning.

"You're girlfriend was the reason you all _died._ How else do you think that fire started?" Felix lifted his hand and then pointed at himself, shrugging.

I blinked, staring at him. He giggled again, walking towards me.

"We should get back before they get suspicious," Felix growled. "We'll be seeing more of each other. Oh! And you're not leaving this place."

He turned me around and pushed me up the stairs. I walked outside, glad to breath fresh air. I didn't look back at him as I made my way back to out house.

I took a deep breath, walking through the door to the comforting rooms. York and Tucker were sitting on the sofa, arms crossed. Donut was lying on the carpeted floor, arm over his eyes.

"I'm back," I walked up to them, sitting in the middle of the sofa.

"What did he want?" Tucker sat up.

"Oh, it was just a thing." I shrugged. "Another checkup."

Tucker raised an eyebrow and bit his lip.

"Well are you okay?" York said.

I nodded briefly, leaning back. "What do you think Felix meant by work?"

"Oh you mean the jobs?" York muttered. "He said it depends on what we're good at."

Donut said up, looking confused. "But _I'm_ only good at making thing looks nice! That's not useful."

Tucker looked up, as if he was deciding what to do. "Could be useful..."

Donut laughed and fell back down. There was a quiet knock on the door, followed by it being opened.

"Hey guys," a familiar voice said. "Sorry for rushing you all yesterday."

Donut jumped up as Doc walked into the room, smiling. He walked up to Donut and immediately hugged him.

"I was wondering when we'd see you," Tucker sat up straighter, looking at Doc.

"About those jobs." I said, trying to sound casual. "What are they?"

"That's why I'm here!" Doc said, excitedly, letting go of Donut.

"There's actually an old school somewhere with loads of equipment. We usually take new comers there to test their abilities and then we assign them a job." Doc ruffled Donuts hair.   
"The next couple of days you'll be going there and we'll work out what's best for you!"

I looked at York and I could swear he mirrored my exact expression. Shocked and kind of suspicious.

"Actually, we were only staying a couple of days." York said, watching for Docs' reaction.

"Felix didn't tell you did he?" Doc rolled his eyes. "You can't...actually leave."

"What?" Donut said.

"You can't leave." Doc said again, simply.

"Well, why not?" I think back to what Felix said. None of it really made any sense.

"If you try Felix will kill you. If _anyone_ tries. That's why everyone is so scared and Donut?" Doc shuffled. "That's why I didn't come back."

Donut nodded. What about Church and the others? They can't just stay out there. They can't come looking for us either.

"So, jobs..." Doc continued. "When you wake up tomorrow go down to the pharmacy and take a left down the road. That's where the school is."

Doc backed out, glancing at Donut. "See you then." And he left.

We sat in silence for what felt like forever. We shared a glance, Donut looking worried and Tucker was running his nail over his lip.

"What sort of equipment will they have?" Donut asks.

"I guess we'll have to find out." York mutters, staring at his shoes. "Weapons? Things like that?"

"We have a free day, so...let's have a look around." I say, trying to put everything in order in my head.

York nodded as we leave the house, locking the door behind us.

We decided to see the school for ourselves, using Docs directions down the road and to the left of the pharmacy. Apparently it used to be a big highschool or college, as the building towered above all the others. There was one guard standing by the door and by looking through the window, we saw the place was empty.

The guard stood in front of the door.

"No civilians past this door." His voice was gruff, a little southern.

"We just wanted to check around. We're supposed to be going here tomorrow." York says, voice not faltering once.

"Orders, I can't let ya in." The guard had a shotgun on his back, not something I'd seen in a long time.

"Can't Felix let us in?" Donut says behind me.

"If he orders me to, I can." He shrugs. "But until we've checked it, no ones allowed in."

"Did something happen?" York says.

"Couple sketchy fellas roaming around last night, didn't have a chance to catch 'em but we found where they were coming in." He pauses. "I'm Sarge by the way."

"Sarge? Like Sergeant?" Donut says now, his voice getting higher.

"I'm not a Sergeant, I'm just Sarge." He says again, looking oddly at Donuts excited face.

I glared at him momentarily. None of the guards were supposed to know we had the other four outside the walls, and Sarge counts as a guard. But...maybe he was trustworthy?

"Sarge..." I said, pulling my fingers through my hair. I got a look from York, but didn't know if it was god or bad. "Grif and Simmons..."

Sarge gave me a hard stare, his hands turning into fists. 

"They're alive." I say simply. His hands loosened and he sighed quietly.

"Where are they?" His gruff voice hid any worry, if it even held any.

"You can't tell Felix. They're our only way out." York lowers his voice. "But they're just outside."

Sarge nods, shoving one hand into his trouser pocket and pulling out a note. "We were actually supposed to meet here but I was found before I could make any contact."

"Listen, you can't tell Felix. We-"

"I know, I know. They're my ticket outta here too, y'know."

I nod, taking a second to breath. I couldn't let them be found. What would happen to them? To Church especially? He was with Tex, afterall. I watched Sarge unlock the door to where we would be going tomorrow. We all gathered in, our steps echoing unusually in the hall. It looked as it most of the walls were destroyed or pushed down, as there were odd piles off rubble in the corner. We took a left and went through some double doors, revealing a bigger hall. It was full of weapons like bows, pistols, rifles, Katanas or machetes and a bigger range of guns. A few axes lay on the ground.

"This is the training facility. There's target practise, knife and axe throwing and some sparring." Sarge had switched on some lights, which revealed a stage that was full of bags and rucksacks. "This is just what we have but you'll get an explanation tomorrow."

York tilted his head, opening a cardboard box and picking up a large hunting knife. He gripped the handle and swayed it through the air. "Not bad."

"I really think you should go, though." Sarge flicked the lights off, and eerie light seeping in through high windows.

We all piled out of the school, taking in the fresh air. I hadn't realised how stuffy it was in there, and people actually practise for jobs? God knows how. We'd find out tomorrow.

"We'll be coming round tomorrow, hopefully." I said as Sarge locked the door and leaned against the bright white wall next to it. 

"Don't sound so excited. It's not like gym class, more like yer military training crap. Got professionals and all, including me." Sarge said, not sounding too proud at all.

"Think you could train us dude? You're friends with Grif and Simmons so..."

"We'll see." He said, waving us off.

I got the hint, sharing a glance with York. With still more than half a day, there wasn't much we knew we could do. Lopez was our guide, apparently. Without a word, York started walking toward the house near to the gates, where Lopez was said to be. I was afraid Felix would be there, so hiding behind York was my worst but only option. I watched as Tucker walked up to the door, knocking gently and being greeted by Felix. I caught his glance and looked away, half cowering behind York. It was pathetic.

"You okay, Wash?" York said, his voice low and calm. I nodded, shaking away my feelings of fear.

Lopez walked out, standing with Tucker as his trench coat flapped in the wind by his knees. 

"Lopez said he'd show us the main 'attraction'." Tucker said, rolling his eyes at attraction. 

Donut is sceptical, but smiles. I turned around and jumped, seeing Felix walking up to us.

"Wash, gotta talk a sec. Not busy are you?" Felix said, his eyes flashing over York. I narrowed my eyes, shaking my head. "Good, come along."

I shrug as York gives me a look. 'Sorry', I mouth as I walk away with Felix. I felt a shiver of fear go up my spine. Felixs' hand was clenched and every time he looked back, he was smirking. I wanted to say something - anything, but I couldn't. Not with how he looked at York. My hands shook ever so slightly as I followed him to that same old abandoned house. Those same boxes and the small hint of manipulation in Felixs' voice.

-

I woke up in shivers, pulling the heavy blanket further over my cold shoulders. It was still early as the sun was just about to rise. I liked having just a few more minutes in the warmth of my bed before Donut would be sure to wake us up bright and early. I heard the door creak open and groaned, covering my face with the covers and preparing for Donut to jump onto my bed and shake me awake. Except there was nothing. Silence. I peeked out of my covers slightly and saw nothing. I sat up and looked around the dark room. I stared at the open door. 

I felt something cold against the back of my neck and scrambled to the end of my bed, barely making out the silhouette beside my bed. 

"Donut," I sighed. "What are you doing?"

No reply. I stood, throwing my hoodie swiftly over my head to keep warm. Was that...?

"Fe-" I started, hearing something whistle through the air and dig right into the wall next to my head. I grabbed it and sliced my skin on the fresh blade as i dug it out of the wall. A knife. Felix. I had to shut up. He was pointing a second blade toward Tucker, who slept soundly as a mouse.

"What are you doing?" I lowered my voice. Felix approached me, completely silent.

"Shh." Felix pointed at the door and ushered me out, holding my hood and pulling if i got too loud. He pushed me onto the sofa and shut the door where the living room connected the stairs.

"Training today." He said, voice holding venom. "You, Me, spar."

"Couldn't you tell me that later?" I stared into his eyes, which glinted as the sun rose and shone through the window. I would say it was beautiful. Disgustingly beautiful. Felix stepped forward, grasping my arm and pulling me up until his face was inches from mine.

"Just a little something to..." I felt a buzz of pain shoot right into my thigh and warmth. Warmth of blood. "make things interesting."

I fell and sat down on the couch, pushing my hand onto the wound to stop the blood. I looked up to shout at him, to scream but he was gone. Like he wasn't even there. I held my breath as the wound stung. Bandages. I need bandages. I limped over to the kitchen where there was a cupboard of medical things and grabbed some, pulling my jeans half down and swiftly patching it up after covering it with antiseptic. I sighed. Fuck. Spar with a stab wound. It wasn't that deep...

-

Hours later the other three were up and ready, un-aware of the limp. Thank God. I didn't know how I'd explain Felix coming in at 5am in the morning. I took a moment to collect my thoughts, listening to the light chatter between the three. 

"I might be able to get some machete practise in today." Tuckers voice was laced with happiness, yet distracted. I think we all were. We're not allowed to leave. Ever...

"I'll be lucky to get guard duty," Donut sighs. "I'm not good at stuff!"

"Better hurry and learn to use a rifle." Tucker snorted, turning and going through his bag to grab some water. 

I spoke a little with York. I managed to get a hug out of him before we left the house, locking the door behind us as we walk down to the school. Sarge was stood by the door again and he opens it, letting us through and following us in. The lights were on and a couple of voices echoed the hall. One distinct one - Felix, and a new voice. I walk in and try to disguise my limp, as I had been the entire walk down. I got a sly glance from Felix, but pretended to look at the equipment in the hall. I stood next to York and faced Felix - almost. I didn't want to look at him.

"Good morning, guys," Felix said, innocence laced in his voice. "This is where you'll be training today and what job I decide to assign you. Assuming you're good at what you choose to take on today." Felix pointed to cardboard boxes which we had already seen, and spoke once again. "Axes, knives, blades. Good with them, then choose them. Rifles, pistols and other guns over there." He points to a a few wooden boxes, each with guns sticking out of it. "Bows, crossbows and arrows are behind those wooden boxes too."

"Get started! Oh, and by the way," Felix slings an arm over his friend. "This is Price."

I glance at the two before silently making my way to the box of knifes, kneeling down and staring into the box of very deadly blades. Hunting knives, throwing knives, kitchen knives even. Even a few Bowie knives. Tucker had already found the larger blades, a Machete in one hand and a Katana that looked similar to a machete. Donut seemed to edge toward the guns, picking up and weighing one of the pistols in his hand. 

"Wash!" York half-laughs, waving his hand in front of my face. 

"Hm? Yeah? What?" I look around and my eyes land on York behind me, holding an axe. "Okay, man don't. You look freaky as hell."

York smirks, letting out another short laugh before heading over to one of the targets. I hadn't had the slightest idea was throwing knives and axes would be good for, but it sure was better than being in that gloomy house.

I walked up to the target and stepped back until i felt comfortable. I threw it cleanly and hit the left of the target. Still could do some damage if it was an infected. I sighed, throwing different knives to test my skill or choose which one I could slice the best with. I glanced at Tucker. He was slashing his blade through the air. I suppose he learnt a thing or two from me. My pride soon deteriorated as I saw Felix gazing at Tucker too, not in an adoring way. I growled to myself, standing up and half limping towards Felix. Anything to draw his attention away.

"Someone's protective." Felix smirked, throwing a knife into the air and catching it effortlessly. "Still up for a spar?"

I nodded, copying him and moving into a starting position. As long as his attention was on me, everything was okay. 

Fuck it.

I move forward, throwing a punch that Felix blocks with ease, and then a kick, that he almost doesn't. Felix strikes back, with a kick to my knee, that I almost narrowly avoids. It felt forever going back and forth, trading blows. Felix sure as hell isn't afraid to hit me, and I'm more than willing to take a few punches myself.

At some point, we both stop holding back. Probably somewhere between Felix sweeping my legs and, having learnt something from the others, I drive my elbow into his stomach enough until Felix was gasping for breath. Distracted, I didn't see his fist coming toward me. I felt a sharp pain and the taste of blood. I try to ignore the pain everywhere on my body, but I could feel the wound on my thigh opening. Felix must have noticed, turning and digging his fingers into my jeans and jabbing my wound even further with his blade. Going dizzy with pain, I stumble back and fall, sitting up on my elbows.

"Fucking hell." Felix pants, leaning over to catch his breath. I caught his glare, but he quickly stood upright and confronted the others. "Everyone _out_."

I fell onto my back and panted, trying to catch my breath. The pain in my lip and my leg was worse than I imagined, yet this was all my fault. Maybe Felix wasn't being serious and I could have just continued practising my throwing. I waited and closed my eyes for a few seconds, being greeted by Felix as soon as I opened them again.

"You..." He said, his voice deep, venomous. I felt his boot dig into my side as he kicked me, causing me to roll over in an attempt to get away. Hastily I stood up, looking around the room to see it was completely empty. 

Felix walked up to me, slamming his hand around my throat and pushing. Back, back, back until I hit the brick wall behind me. I felt dizzy. I felt warm blood oozing out of the wound in my leg and my lip stung and my throat... every pain was caused by Felix. I spat on his face.

"I've thought of a use for you and your friends already." He said, hint of malice in his voice. It echoed around the hallway. I kicked his stomach and scrambled away as soon as his grip was released.

"Fuck you." I didn't know what to say, so I simply glared at him and hurried outside.

"Wash!" Donut half yelled, rushing over and worrying over my split lip. I hissed as he tapped it with torn cloth. I knew he was trying to help but it hurt. My body ached. I looked at York. His eyes were soft and guilt filled my stomach. 

"Sorry." I say. I placed a hand on Donuts' shoulder and nodded. 

I limped forward. "Wash..." I heard Tuckers voice. Stern. Like Yorks'. I faced him only to find both York and Donut were also staring at me. I looked down, embarrassed. Afraid. I caused this.

"Let's just head back. I need to..." I looked up again and shrugged, beginning to walk to the house. I felt gentle hands on my shoulder and under my arm. "You don't-"

"I do." Tucker said, voice hushed. "Let me."

I hated to admit it, but being aided was wonderful. After years of dealing with it, it's hard to let rag-tag idiots take care of you...

-

"So...you just slipped and cut yourself?" Tucker muttered, tying a rough knot to keep the bandages together. 

"I was opening the can and it slipped. Is that so hard to believe?"

"Mhm and it was convenient that Felix knew it was there?" Tucker sat next to me on the small sofa, looking at me, unconvinced. 

I nodded faintly. Speaking would only give myself away. Tucker grabbed the cloth Donut had left on the small coffee table and doused it in water, gently wiping the blood from my lip. 

"Thank you." I looked aside, not wanting to create anything awkward. "You didn't have to."

"Hey, man. I want to so...just let me. Especially in the future, since you're shit at first-aid." He smiled softly.

I shook my head and leaned back. taking a deep breath. "Alright." I smiled. I close my eyes and sense him lean back too. I felt a little better being looked after for once, but weak. Felix basically beat me. I had to see him. I had to see that glare of his and watch him eye my friends. 

Only a few minutes later I was startled by a voice. "Hey." York said, gently. "You two okay?"

I open one eye to look at him, and nodded. "I'm alright."

"Good, good." He sighs and waits a few seconds. "What was that fight about?"

I dreaded the question. I knew York would be the one to ask but I hadn't thought of an excuse that wasn't, ' _he was eyeing up Tucker and it made me mad_ '.

"He asked me. Something to do with the jobs." I made up with that pretty fast...

"What job? Price said he'd be telling us ours tomorrow." York also took a place next to me.

"Something like guarding or going out on supply runs. Nothing special."

He nodded in acknowledgement and I sighed, relieved he didn't ask too many more questions. My leg throbbed, the pain causing me to go dizzy again. I felt queasy. I shivered, shutting my eyes once again and feeling the warm sun burn through the window panes. It was a change from burning cold and my sides were being warmed by a sleepy Tucker and a quiet York. Donut had found a nice spot by a dead fireplace and sat in a chair, reading a familiar comic. Something felt odd. Wrong. We were here enjoying the comforts of a home, guards and safety; while the others lay cold and in danger of guards and infected. They were prey. I felt guilt rise in me each day being here. 

I had to find a way to let them know. God knows what Felix would do to them. 

"Wash." I shook my head gently. "Wake up, man."

Wake up? I hadn't gone to sleep, had I? I shook my head again.

"Doc is here for our jobs." It was Donuts voice. I sighed, opening my eyes and sitting up quickly as Doc was sat, scribbling something down in the chair in front of me. I thought Price was coming, but I was happy it was Doc.

"R-right. Jobs." I smile at Donut.

"Looks like you've all got it alright." Doc began, scanning over the paper in his hands. "Donut has it the best, actually. You're with Jane down in the armoury, loading ammo clips. York, you have wall duty. You'll be given standard clothing and a rifle with that." He said with a smile.

"Suppose that's good." York said, looking at me. I shrugged.

"Tucker, you're on perimeter watch with Connie. You've met her, right?"

"Yeah, we've met." Tucker replied, looking around the room.

"The breaches," Doc starts. "Not many have happened but we always need skills in close combat. Your machete skills surprised Felix."

I hadn't realised how fairly serious Doc was. Donut described him as a loving kinda guy but I hadn't got that from him yet. I watched Tucker fold his arms and look away slightly.

"What about Wash?" Tucker mumbles, earning a look from York.

"Supply runs. That's finding food, weapons, water. Things to build the wall and adventuring nearby town," Doc explained while turning the paper over. "You're with a group, Wash, so don't think your going alone."

"Huh. Supply runs..." I say, still sleepy. "Not bad."

"You have a backpack for each you and your partner. A map is provided and just...don't run away. Felix will find you, one way or another." Doc said, his voice becoming even more dull nearing the end of his sentence. 

I nodded and looked at York. He made me feel better. Doc stood up and nodded to each of us and walked outside, followed by Donut. They did deserve some time together, that's for sure.

"I can't protect you when you're out there." York mumbled, his face pale.

"York," I rose, walking to the window. I leaned against the frame and looked at him and Tucker. "You don't need to protect me anymore, remember?" I chuckled, seeing Tucker flop onto the sofa where I was sat. 

"You can't even open a can without cutting yourself." 

I hesitated, almost forgetting that I'd made it up. "It was a stupid mistake. I won't get hurt out there. I've survived on my own and Doc said I'd have a partner with me anyway."

"What if-"

"York. Trust me on this. If Felix says I should do it, then I can't really say no, can I?" I sigh. Fuck. I need to stop getting angry. "I'm sorry. But I have to go."

I shared a glance with Tucker briefly and rubbed my face. I needed to get away. Felix was too much, too dangerous.

"Why did we come here?" I ask, quietly. "Why did you let me come here." 

"We all could use some rest." I felt Yorks' hand on my arm and I nodded.

Right. Rest it is. We can do that. I go upstairs into the little bedroom and lay down on the bed. I thought. Plan. I need a plan. Find a weak spot, get out... find the others.

-

**ONE WEEK LATER**

I turned over in my bed, watching Tuckers chest rise and fall. At least he was asleep. I carefully lifted the blanket off and tiptoed downstairs, finding my shoes beside the door. My bag was prepared and hung on a hook. I thought it would be a good idea to bring York but...I had to do this. I opened the window in the living room and left it slightly ajar for my return. Keys would be too loud and the door was far too creaky to be quiet. 

The night was cold and clouds covered the moon, hiding everything. I followed the trodden down path from the window and followed the wall to diamond fence. Pliers. I unzipped my bag and swiftly snipped the wire and pulled it back as a door. I shoved my bag through and climbed through myself, composing myself and letting my eyes adjust. The gates were left, so I once again followed the walls, keeping close. Guards patrolled on the top of the wall, light emitting from signal fires. I'd learnt that it didn't attract infected, so I was safe for the time being. 

I hastily whipped out my knife and held my breath as I came to a corner of the wall. Two guards stood in front of a blazing bonfire, lighting up the area around them. I took a silent breath and crawled onto my stomach, through the grass for what felt like forever. I came upon a small birch tree and stood up, gripping onto a branch. I was further away and apparently undetected. I made my way slowly to come in-line with the gates. I started to walk, freely in the direction of where we left the others.

I smelt something familiar. A few more meter and another smell. Wood-smoke and fresh meat. I saw the lick of flames rising and bounded over, peaking over the grassy ledge. No doubt, there was Church laying on Caboose, Grif leaning against his bag and shuffling his cards. I took one last look at the scene before i disturbed it. It looked peaceful. 

"Hey," I whispered, creeping over to the four. "It's me, Wash."

"Washington?" Simmons' voice replied. I knelt next to the fire and watched as Caboose stirred.

"I need you all awake. It's important." I look at Simmons, putting all the trust I could into my words. 

He nodded, shuffling over and shaking Church awake. He complained. I wasn't surprised, but happy. Church sat up and wiped his eyes, placing a hand on Cabooses' arm. I looked at him, trying to hold back a little smile. I had missed them.

"Wash? Is that you?" Church looked up. "Where have you been? Are you safe? It's been days." Church rushed his words, looking around. 

"We're...kind of stuck. Church listen, we can't leave that place. We've been assigned jobs, a house and their leader? Insane. You...you can't get caught. Don't get caught otherwise we have no way out. No fallback plan." I rush out, earning an unfamiliar look on each face.

"What about Donuts' friends? Our friend?" Simmons is more composed, but not amazing.

"Doc and Sarge. They're alive and safe but trapped. We all are. I'm working on a plan but, Church?" I pause. "You need to find someplace safe. Far away from here, away from guards."

Grif nodded. "Someone came close yesterday. We had to leave our original spot but I think they're upping security." This was the first hint of worry I'd heard from Grif.

"I need to go soon. I'm sorry. I'll come to you again once I've studied a map just please-"

A snap. I freeze, staring at the fire in front of me. Fuck. _Fuck_. I stand up and kicked the fire as quietly as possible into the dewy grass, stomping on it until the very last ember was black. Church shook Caboose awake, holding a hand to his mouth and rushed him into the cover of tree roots. Grif and Simmons backed up against against the grassy ledge and I jumped behind a nearby tree. I peek around, seeing the glow of a fire-torch. It moved closer. I crept round to the other side of a supposed guard. He ventured forward. I drew closer, holding my breath every few seconds and gripping my knife against my thigh. 

I stared into the orange glow of the fire and rose my hand as soon as he was close. I closed my eyes as the blade sunk into his neck. A gurgle and choke of liquid. A thud as the body hit the floor, gurgling blood until all the noises faded into nothing except the rapid breath of Caboose. I sunk the blade into the mans head, destroying the brain. I collapsed. Not once have I dreamt of sinking a blade into a living human. Not once. Never again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trust me when I say it gets better! See you next Chapter!


	5. 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger Warning: Self-harm, Torture

_Washs' POV_

I returned early morning. I climbed through the window and collapsed against the wall, the vivid memory of the previous hours still in my head.

"Wash?" I heard from the stairs. I was too shocked to reply. I stared at Tucker who had walked down and stood at the bottom. "You alright, man?"

My gaze was still glued to the stairs. I didn't really do that did I? Kill an unarmed, probably innocent man. I had to.

"Wash...you scared me. Where were you?" Tucker threw his arms around me for a few seconds.

"I'm alright." I say, blandly. I felt him draw back, unconvinced, of course.

"I killed someone." I say, unable to think of any reassuring words.

Tucker looked at me. Fear or disgust? His eyes didn't have any answers. He didn't scramble away or yell or do anything bad. Maybe he understood? 

"A...A guard? Or a civilian?" He said, voice a lot smoother than I had thought it to be. I blinked.

"A guard. I think. No, no... It was a guard." I shake my head, digging my nails into my palms.

Tucker closed his eyes and stood up, rubbing his neck. "Fuck, dude... I-I don't know what to say."

"The others...they're okay. I-i need...just-" I let out a frustrated noise. "I need a map. Get me a map."

Tucker stumbled off, grabbing a worn map from his bag which Church had given him. I stood up and looked through draws, pulling each of them out and trashing the room. I found a red pen, at last and swiped the map from Tuckers hands, sitting down on the sofa. I searched for the city we were in. According to Felix, it used to be an old city before it shrunk and became what it is today. I spotted the name and drew an X. Nearby were three different towns and different paths and walkways that might have altered over the years. Bandits, hoards of infected. God knows if sending the others away was a good idea. A town to the south, a faster journey than the rest.

This better work.

_-_

I made the same trek the next night, with Tucker this time. I told York to promise to keep Donut safe if anything bad happened. I came across the festering corpse of the guard.

"How did you do it?" Tucker asked, following me through the woods.

"It was a split seconds choice." I didn't want to talk about it. I followed the smell of wood-smoke again and found the orange glow not too far away.

I held the map tightly in my hand and rushed over, sliding down next to the fire. Church was awake this time and glanced at me, before shuffling over and staring at the map I had laid in the light of the fire. Caboose threw himself at Tucker, causing them to fall over. I wouldn't be surprised if that was bruised ribs for Tucker.

"A village not too far from here. Three days journey at most, the shortest. The next is a larger town and takes four days. The last town is the one we went to before, but I doubt they'll let you in without injuries. One week walk." I shoved the map over to Church and unzipped my bag. I had packed ammunition and two pistols, along with one suppressor.

"Put it to good use." I say, looking at Church again with a nod. "I'm sorry. About last night."

"Relax. You did what you had to. Don't beat yourself up over it." 

I sighed, relieved that Church didn't hold it against me. "We'll come for you. How long, I don't know. But I want you to try to stay at the first village. That's where we'll go if we get out of here." 

I didn't want them to go. "Hey, Wash?" 

I look up at Church again, only to be pulled into a subtle hug. Caboose must have seen, as I felt his strong arms wrap around the both of us. Grif shook his head, but smiled, content with holding Simmons' hand.

"See you around, dude." Tucker said, causing Church to let go and stand up.

"Hey man. Don't get all teary on me. It won't be long." Church joked, hugging Tucker and whispering something into his ear. Tucker laughed, shaking his head.

"Take care of Caboose." Tucker said, a little quieter. "Oh, and guys?" He turned to Grif. "We'll bring back Sarge, too."

"Thanks, man." Grif nodded.

I wobbled back, edging towards the trees as Tucker said his goodbyes to Caboose and his beloved machete. One last goodbye and we headed off, back to our hellhole of a safe haven. In the end, I knew we couldn't leave. Felix was crafty. He had ways of finding people, as I've heard from rumours. I couldn't risk leaving this place without leaving the country.

"Hey," Tucker placed his hand on my shoulder and turned me to face him. "They'll be alright. I know Church. We'll be alright, too. Your legs already on the mend."

"Yeah. I'm gonna miss them." I scoffed to myself, looking at the ground. Tuckers fingers lifted my chin, and I was forced to make eye contact. 

"Me too, dude. Let's just find a way out of this." He chuckled. "You got me to deal with, anyway. That's a good distraction."

I shook my head and turned, smiling. Our walk was quiet, but nice. I felt happier that they'd be safer leaving this place. At least they were out of harms way.

_**-Weeks** _ __ _**later-** _

I stumbled to the training facility, running after Tucker and Donut. York was already guarding the walls, but today was the day. I was supposed to be going on a proper supply run with my partner. Little did I know a few weeks ago, that my partner would be Sarge. I wouldn't say he was intimidating, but he sure was a lot different to who I was used to. Tucker and Donut were so caring, made so much fuss, whereas York wasn't like that. He'd got softer, recently of course, but adjusting to that was harder than usual.

Sarge and I spoke on our short trips to the village, got to now each other and plan things. He was a good partner to rely on and, as reliable as he was, he was...different. I can see where he'd fit in with Grif and Simmons. Today was the trip to the gas station, thirty minutes down the road. It wasn't like the village. The village was ten minutes and I had no clue it even existed. Maps didn't specify the exact location. This gas station, small, but dangerous. A small bandit group actually marked it as their territory, but anyone who came across wasn't killed instantly. According to Sarge, he'd actually been there once with an old friend. I didn't know what to expect.

"Wash," Sarge said in his gruff voice, as soon as I arrived. "Y'know what today is?"

"Gas station?" I replied, catching my breath.

"Right." He nodded, continuing to talk.

We slung our bags over our shoulders and each had a rifle in our hands. These weren't for the infected, though. No, we used our knives to kill Infected. These rifles were for the bandits, Sarge explained to me. This is how we keep them away and reduce attacks. 

"Why not just kill them?" I ask, as we trudge down the wet road. I was comfortable, though, as Felix all gave us our uniforms. Including shoes, so my feet weren't blistered as much anymore. 

"They got spies. Watchtowers." Sarge points above the trees as a large wooden frame came into view. He then pointed into the darkness of the forest. "They watch."

I nod, unable to shake that feeling. The walk felt pressured, like every bandit for miles knew we were coming. Though, we were safe. They must recognise Sarge, right? I shake my head, hoisting my bag higher as it slipped and cowered in the shadow of Sarge. He was the same height as me, but I felt safer to the right of him. 

Not long into the walk, the building came into view. The gas station was worse than I imagined. Cloth painted, with symbols and suspicious stains. Pikes with Infected heads on and barbed wire surrounding the building. Bodies hung from the building from rope and cages and nets. Strange and disgusting smells hit my nose, causing my stomach to flip. Sarge seemed unfazed.

A series of shouts erupted as barbed fences opened and an extremely tall, bulky man walked forward. Sarge put his arm out to stop me, stepping forward too, with no fear. My instincts were telling me to run. I knew I couldn't. Sarge made a hand signal, making the bulky man withdraw and his previous angry face softened.

I cautiously walked forward, getting looks from every bandit as Sarge led me in.

"Their leader goes by the name Sithis, but he's just a softy. His real name is Markus." Sarge says, greeting one of the men by the door of the gas station. 

Glass was everywhere but the building was boarded up, except for little wooden windows that were kept open with latches. The man opened the door and let Sarge inside. Sarge grunted. I assumed by now that when he did that, it was one of his laughs. 

Before I could step inside, the man closed the door, leaving me outside. I blinked and turned around, seeing at least thirty people all crowded around the door. I swallowed, trying not to make eye-contact with these savages.

"Someone get this lad a beer!" I hear from the back. It was the same man who let us through. I didn't know what to do with myself. Sarge had made it out to be like we were going to be pounced on and torn to pieces. 

A lanky man beside me pushed a tankard into my hand and laughed, boisterously. "Drink up!"

I took a few gulps, taking a breath and staring at the liquid inside the pint. It wasn't even vile, but I hadn't tasted something like this for years. I looked up to see grins on the faces of each and every bandit. Did they know Sarge this well? Did this usually happen? A little afraid, I forced the rest down my throat.

"This one enjoys a good beer," A women said, holding another such tankard in her hand. "Friends with Sarge, huh? Seem a lil' fragile."

I chuckle nervously, nodding. "A-are you all bandits?"

"Bandits!?" The women laughs heartily, looking back at the others. She pauses. "Ah, new kid ain't cha? We're not bandits, but Felix doesn't know that. A safe haven that big should have spare ammo and tools, but we don't wanna follow orders ya see."

"Felix is a freak anyway." The man next to me said, nodding in agreement with the women.

"My name's Wash." I speak up, my voice wavering. 

A cheer ensued as a wave of names and excitement came from the crowd. I was intimidated for sure now, edging back against the door as they all squeezed together a little more to get a good look. The cup is taken from my hands and I look around. 

"I guess this makes a lot of people afraid of you?" I say, nodding toward the infected on ropes and in cages.

"For sure. We only give a good beer to those who we can trust. Since you're a friend of Sarge, you're already a good guy." The women says, who's name I heard to be Bonnie.

I nod once, less afraid of their...'decorations'. At least they weren't going to rip my guts out. I heard the door open behind me and move out of the way. I remember my bag and slip it off, looking at the ammo and things in here for them. 

"Sarge-" I start, being cut off by Markus.

"Washington, right? I'm Sithis." He puts his hand out and grins. I shake his hand and look at Sarge, who chuckles shortly. I'm pulled in and suddenly relax, as there are no eyes on me anymore. I walk up to his desk and place ammo and tools down.

Markus' hair was long and brown and his complexion was very pale. He wore a coat and baggy trousers, and his eyes were welcoming, trusting. I felt backwards. Such a nice looking person in a place like this didn't seem right.

"So...you guys aren't bandits? It's just Felix who thinks you are?"

"Pretty much." Sithis says, putting the things into a cardboard box. "We occasionally give him scares when he doesn't send Sarge to 'lay down the law'." He chuckles to himself. "Sorry for leaving you out there."

"Beer was good." I smile, looking around the inside. There was one shelving unit filled with ammo clips, guns and a few knives. I heard a laugh from outside and shook my head. "How long have you and Sarge known each other?"

"Oh, ages." He shrugs, lifting the box and taking it over to the shelf. "He usually stays a bit to make it convincing and we hand out a beer or two."

"I don't think we should stay long. Night comes quickly now it's winter." I mumble still shocked and shaky from being around that many people.

"Next month, we'll meet again." 

I sigh. I knew there would be a next month, I just wish there wasn't. I just had to wait and hope that the others would be okay. I hope they survive the next weeks.

-

I walked through the gates and away from freedom. It was so easy to just run away but...I couldn't. I had to remember I had friends now. People I care about. I shook away the feelings and greeted Tucker with a smile. He usually waited for me and Sarge to come back from supply runs and each time smiled. At least he was safe. I hated that he had to do perimeter with Connie but...she was never bad. Just quiet.

"How'd it go?" Tucker asked, falling into step with me as we walked to the training facility.

"Not too bad. We just dropped off the ammo." I said as I caught a warning glance from Sarge. Felix was surprisingly good at hearing, so I hushed my voice too.

Once we got to the school, we dropped off our bags and let Price deal with sorting it out, as he did. He always seemed to be creeping around, out of sight. Sarge waved a quick goodbye and wandered off to one of the apartment houses. He and Lopez would be going on a supply run tomorrow. I had to stay home. I hummed to myself as I walked up to our house, seeing Donut placing something in the window. I don't know why, but I felt content. I didn't feel miserable. Maybe it was the beer. Donut opened the door and let us in, smiling. The house looked tidied, somehow. I flopped down onto the sofa and sighed, my legs aching.

"Jesus dude, how far was the walk?" Tucker also fell onto the sofa and closed his eyes.

"Far. It was far." I chuckled, managing to make a space for Donut beside me.

York usually came back just before nightfall, so while the others had gone to bed, I'd stay up with York. Tucker and Donut liked him, but I think York needed more time. He wasn't as big of a softy as me.

"I hope the others are okay." Donut sniffles, resting his head on my shoulder. 

"They will be." I say, trying to reassure myself too. Today was long. Unfortunately, it wasn't about to end. I felt Felixs' eyes on me as soon as I walked through the gates, as soon as I leave the house. It was unnerving.

*

I backtracked to our first day here, the very next day. It was an early, damp morning and Felix was nowhere to be seen. I accompanied York to his post and tried to explain in such a subtle way. I couldn't let him find out. I followed the pavement along the wall to the old house where Felix first brought me. If I wanted answers, I'd have to snoop around; catch his attention. I opened the door and poked my head in, looking at the boxes that hid the door. It wasn't the best disguise, but it'd fool anyone who didn't know the area. I crept in, slowly closing the door behind me and edging over to the pile of boxes. After clearing them and walking down the steps I flicked a switch and flinched as a light buzzed on.

There was a new box. A red, cracked box with a lid and a label. I couldn't make out the word. I opened it, expecting it to be a limb of a human or some sort of trap but there was just rope. Thick rope, stuff that was hard to get hold of. My mind wandered. This would've been useful if I was still surviving on my own...

I shook my head and stood up, placing the lid back on the box. I looked at the box of knives and huffed, wondering. How could we leave. Felix had trackers and I'd met a few on supply runs. They sure did a good job at tracking animal prints and where infected crowded.

A creak emitted behind me. I spun around and saw his silhouette in the doorway. I wanted him to find me, but this quickly I wasn't expecting and I grew nervous. I watched Felix slowly walk down, a grin plastered on his face and his arms gently swinging at his side. He was pretty stalker-ish.

"I never thought I'd find you _here._ " Felix murmured, moving towards me. Closer and closer.

"What has Tex told you?" I narrow my eyes at him, stepping back before he is inches from my face. "Why me and not York?"

"Would you prefer me go for York?" Felix bit back, mockingly.

I was quiet. Of course not. I feel his strong hands on my shoulders, pushing me back until I stumble down on the chair behind me. I push against him, but immediately I'm forced back into the chair. I pause. Do what he wants. Make him think he's winning.

"No bandit out there could ever do as much damage as you people did. To me. To my friends and my _family_." Felix hissed, whipping around to face me. Felix didn't seem like the kind of person to care. "Tex knew. I suppose Carolina never really told you much."

"Felix..." I start, grabbing his attention. "I killed her. Why do you want information from me? I don't have any. I'm sorry, Felix." Play with him. Make him think _I_ care. I saw Felixs' face falter.

"Dead." He said softly. "I don't care." Venom returned to his voice, his face scrunched up with frustration. "It's time to hurt you like you hurt me."

I blink. No. Not now.

"Felix I-"

"Shut up!" He yelled, the words echoing the room. The next thing I see is his fist flying toward me. No time to block it. I feel pain for a few seconds and then nothing. Darkness.

-

Consciousness returned to me after peaceful darkness. My head felt like it was being hit every second, the thumping continuing long after I became aware of my surroundings. I feared opening my eyes. My arms ached and my legs were uncomfortable. I soon realised why. The rope in the box. I opened my eyes slightly, glancing at the lidless and empty red box. The rope was bound tightly around my wrists and my ankles were bound to the legs of the chair. It was an odd sort of contraption. Rope was also tied from the chair to the wall, probably to keep it in place. There were limited ways of escape. I closed my eyes again, thinking of my situation. This is what I wanted. Felixs' attention. I needed answers. What did Carolina do to him?

I heard steps come towards me, followed my a sharp pain on my cheek. I looked up and rubbed my face on my shoulder, trying to move my mouth. Rope restricted my speaking, too. There was Felix, a gleeful smile dancing about his lips. 

"Looks like someone's in trouble." Felix said. His eyes shone. He had power. 

My attempt to speak disappointed me. Felixs' smile grew. I'd already made a fool of myself. He silently made his way over to the box full of knives, picking up a few different ones and either placing them aside or dropping them back into the box. He must have set this up for multiple reasons. I dreaded thinking about the other people who've felt victim to his torture. Felix picked up a switchblade from the box, the steel glinting ever so slightly. I cursed to myself. He can't kill me. He wants answers. He wants closure. 

Felix moved and stood behind me, leaning close to my ear. "You're going to be here for a long, long time." He whispered, sending shivers down my spine. "I can do and say whatever I want."

I felt the end of the blade against my neck. "This is my favourite blade. Never let me down once."

This was going to be interesting, but it sure was going to end with a few more scars. 

*

_ Tuckers' POV _

I sat up and turned over to greet Wash. My mouth opened but I cut myself off, seeing that he was gone. Wash wasn't usually up at this time. I shook it off, telling myself he was off on a supply run. It's been a couple of weeks now, so maybe he has certain early runs. I stretch, throwing on my shoes and bounding downstairs. Silence.

"Uh, hey guys?" I say, my voice sounding strange. So York and Wash are out early. Can't blame them for that. I frown and wander upstairs, checking the rooms and finding that Donut wasn't home either.

I didn't question it, instead grabbing the keys and locking the door once I'd gone outside. I wandered up to the gates and waved to get Yorks attention. I waited for him to come down.

"Did you see where Wash went?" I asked, looking around to see if I could find him. I didn't ever feel comfortable around York. He was quiet.

He pointed down the wall, where a small trodden now path lay. "He didn't really tell me anything," He shrugged. "Good luck."

I followed the path for a little bit, to the edge of the wall and finding nothing but some unused buildings. I looked through the lower windows and sighed, finding nothing. I walked to the training facility to find Connie. She knew about Wash and York and we had had a few conversations together. 

"Connie?" I say, my voice echoing the halls. "Come on, we got perimeter again."

I turned around and jumped, as Connie appeared behind me. "Let's go then."

Outside the gates, it was completely clear. No infected, no bandits. Just melting frost and a mist settled around us. I was always cautious around Connie. Always had my borrowed machete. I missed my old one. 

"Ever think about leaving?" I said, trying to break the silence. "You're friends with Felix an' all so you can leave, right?"

She scoffed a laugh, glancing back at me. "I would've left already, if I could. Kai and Tex too, but Felix is.. complicated."

"Complicated? How?"

"Our band 'ruined' his life and his precious family. They needed to die, orders from Tex. I ended up disagreeing and finding him. But once he makes friends, he can't let go. He _won't_ let go." Connie explained, her usually quiet voice growing. "He's out to ruin theirs."

"You mean Wash? And York? What about Tex? She gave out the orders."

"She also betrayed us. She never shows it, but I think she felt sorry for him. Did his orders and now she can't get away." Her voice became dull. 

I didn't know what to think. How to think. It was so much in just a few sentences.

"Once or...If you get out of here, what are you going to do?" I asked, walking beside Connie and looking around for fence breaches or infected.

"Find a boat or somewhere to lay low. I'm sure as hell not joining a group." Connie hugged her knife to her chest slightly.

Our conversation was small, and we were silent until we reached the gates. We went our separate ways from them on and there was still no sign of Wash. Worry grew in my chest and spread, making me nervous. Sarge. If I can find Sarge then I'll know what happened. On the way to the training facility, I spoke to a few civilians that lived close by, asking if they'd seen anyone in a grey hoodie. Each answer was the same. No. Of course not. He jogged over to the familiar spot where Sarge either stands or paces. Today he was pacing, a little faster than usual.

"Sarge!" I made my way up to him. "Have you seen Wash?"

"No." He said, gruff as ever. "I've been waiting for twenty minutes. I usually brief things over with him before I go, just in case he gets into trouble."

"Shit. I have't seen him anywhere." Fuck. "I thought it was you and Lopez today?"

"It is." He said. "But I was supposed to give him errands today instead."

"Fuck...where is he?" Seconds after the words left my mouth, I heard a shallow shout from behind me. I spun around, seeing _Felix_ of all people jogging over. York was walking behind, head down and fists clenched. York leaned against the wall, face paler than usual. He covered his face with both his hands.

"What's happened?" That look. Felixs' face. Grave looking - sad. "What's going on?"

Sarge stepped forward, having the first look of worry on his face ever since I met him. York was breathing slowly to himself, causing Sarge to pause and look back. There was a minute of silence as Felix took some breaths and rummaged around in his pockets. He took something and held it out. It looked a ring, something silvery.

"What is that?" I ask and took the thing from Felix, inspecting it closely. It was that necklace. With the heart charm. Wash took that back? When? And why did Felix have it?

"Tucker I'm so sorry. I-" 

"Tell me what the fuck happened." I stared at the charm, wanting to face Felix.

"I found him...I mean, his body. He was stuck in the fence...fuck. It was the infected Tucker, I'm sorry." Felix looked down, dragging his hands through his hair.

"That's...not true. Connie and I did perimeter! That was maybe...ten minutes ago! You're lying." I laughed slightly, looking for the joke.

"Wash-" 

"Shut up! It's obviously a joke!" I cut off Sarge and laughed some more, before making hopeless noises. 

"Tucker I've been trying to look for you all day. It was early this morning, we didn't want to break it to you as soon as you woke up. We had to get rid of it - him...so no infected were attracted."

"Liar...You're lying! You fucker!" I pocketed the charm and it took every fibre of my being not to act out or hit him. I looked up and blinked away tears, slamming my hands behind the neck. Fuck. And how did York feel? How will Tex act? I cursed. Fuck...Fuck! I felt my knees collapsed under me and as I fell to the floor I curled up, hiding everything. I felt a comforting hand on my shoulder from Sarge. I was pulled up gently and felt soft pats on my shoulder. He nudged me forward along with York and patted us both. No No No.

"You two go home." His gruff voice was oddly reassuring. York sighed, walking forward. Sarge tugged Felix aside and they walked and talked. York was looking and waiting, patting my shoulder as I caught up and we struggled up the hill to our home. For once our silence wasn't too bad, only filled with sniffles and small breaths.

"York..." I spoke as we walked inside, hopelessly sitting down on the sofa. "Who's gonna tell Donut?"

York let out a long, exhausted sigh, followed by a fuck. "Both of us."

I nodded and stared at the wall, finally having a minute to process. Wash was dead. It didn't sound right. He's not. He can't be. I didn't know how long I'd been thinking before I felt Yorks head fall against my shoulder and soft snores came from him. His eyes were red and puffy. He'd been crying so quietly...this is why I needed Donut...or Wash. Soft people...God. Fuck. I soon felt the tears rolling down my cheek. I covered my face with my sleeves. Wash was gone. I mumbled, standing up and lifting York. He was lighter, had the same sort of frame as Wash...I shook my head, walking up the stairs and gently placing him on the bed next to mine. He sighed in his sleep and I pulled the covers over him. I kicked off my shoes and got into my own bed.

*

It's been days. I think. I haven't left my room for anything, not even food. I felt lost. There was small movement from York every now and then. The day after I found out, Donut came into our room. I told him everything. He felt alone in his room, so he moved all of his belongings into the corner and brought his blankets and pillows to sleep on. He was the only one with a positive act on, bringing water and food. Doc often came in a spoke with Donut softly. I wasn't complaining. It distracted me from the raging waves of voices and emotions that crashed around in my head. I would sometimes join in, glad to hear York hadn't completely shut down.

God. I didn't know him that long. I didn't love him. I didn't. I tried psyching myself up, telling myself it was just like any other person we left behind. But we kissed. Did he expect me to ever let that go? I didn't know if he really trusted us. I constantly stared at his stuff by the wall. His small backpack and the fluffy coat crumpled next to it.

"Tomorrow." I say. To York and to myself. "Get up and do what he would do."

*

_ Wash's pov _

The light buzzed. I couldn't tell if it was the light or my head, but it was like one thousand bee's inside my brain constantly. Every time I woke, a jolt of shock would go down my spine. My arms and legs were cramped and my throat was dry. I was dizzy, so, so dizzy. Stay focused. _Felix has told you so much_. I lifted my head and inspected the room. Every time I would. Felix had removed the rope from my mouth. I tried to speak, but only a hoarse breath came out. I heard his sigh erupt from the corner. My eyes finally focused on his silhouette in the corner. He stood up and picked up the bottle by his feet, walking to the side of me and pouring the water into my mouth. Like melted gold...

"Is that everything?" I forced the words out, my throat still hoarse. "Felix?"

"There's one more thing." Felix sounded...defeated. Surely it's only been a few days. Has he exhausted every possible detail? Already? "Carolina was the one. She killed my Mother, my only reason to make this place...Left my Father nailed to a fucking wall, still breathing. I had to fucking kill him...my own Dad! God, Wash. Didn't she tell you anything?" He advanced toward me with his favourite blade pressed so hard against my neck. I could feel his breath.

"I didn't know anything. I was kept in the dark, along with York. Tex and Carolina knew every detail. Felix...I know how it feels." I could sense his hand faltering. He pulled away the knife, dragging it across my collar. "Ah-" I felt cold. Warm blood dribbled down my chest and was soaked up by my t-shirt.

"How could you? Did you watch through a fucking keyhole and see you're own Mother slaughtered and thrown out of the window? Did you have to end you're own fucking Fathers life because someone couldn't even finish the job properly!?" Felix liked to put on an act where everything was fine, like he was sane. 

"Everyone has seen shit-"

"You shut the fuck up! This isn't about everyone. This is about _me_!" Felix growled with frustration, clawing his head. "I want to kill you so bad."

The one line sent shivers down Wash's spine. Why hasn't he?

"Why...why haven't you killed me? I'm right here." I knew it was risky. But there was a chance I wasn't actually going to leave this place.

"Because...you're the only one. You...you're...you know shit! I know it...Just tell me! Fuck!" It was like he was tearing himself apart from the inside. Battling with his own thoughts against my words. Like he was so far gone that nothing could satisfy him except killing. Almost like everything in his head wanted to get out but he was too stubborn to let it out. He lost his figures, people who loved him and then? No one.

"Felix, I'm sorry."

"Sorry doesn't change what you did! Sorry doesn't fix this. _Nothing_ will fix it! Just..." Felix took deep breaths, sitting cross legged on the floor and jabbing his arm with his knife. Pricks of blood grew and slid down his arm. He had little scars and jabs all over him. Not recent ones either.

"Stop Felix. Hurting yourself won't make you feel. Let me go and...I'll help you."

Felix tilted his head. He grinned. "Y'know...I just remembered something. I told Tucker that you were dead." His voice was empty but his face was smiling. He giggled. "Oh how he cried. York too. Completely shut down...wanna know what I did after that?"

"Felix I've tried to be rational...if you hurt Tucker or York or Donut I..." I paused. "Please tell me you didn't hurt them."

"Tuckers' scream...I'd say seven out of ten. Didn't really have much emotion, just pain really. Can you believe it? He left a mark on my waist!" Felix stood up, lifting his shirt and showing a bruise which has gone slightly purple. "York was a fighter for sure. He left scratches all over my shoulders and Donut? Well lets just say he watched both of them die. I let my fellow guards have their way with him. His flesh made for a fine meat stew."

I blinked. I pictured them in my head, reaching out...Felix grinning. No...he was just teasing. He wanted a reaction. But what if he was telling the truth? "Felix you-"

"Poor Doc...y'know he's probably enjoying that stew right now! Now...you have nothing. Now I can tell you everything and then cut your dirty throat."

He pressed the knife against a fresh cut and jabbed it, causing it to bleed. I gasped, gritting my teeth.

"Fuck you, Felix."

*

_ Tuckers' pov _

A few mornings later I built up the strength to get up. My body felt light, my legs hurt. The plan was to get York up too and go for a walk around the city. Find Sarge and maybe practice. York was...not so good. I walked into the small bathroom and looked in the mirror, rubbing my face and taking some breaths. I walk beside Yorks' bed and sigh.

"York?" I say, earning a dishevelled groan. "Come on dude. Get up."

I think he preferred being told to do something in this situation, rather than do it himself. I pulled on my shoes and shook away my tiredness. I wandered down the stairs and found Donut opening some tinned fruit. He turned around and smiled softly. 

"Look! Supply box had peaches and strawberries. Lucky find huh?" Donuts cheeriness sure was a change. Maybe a good one, but I hadn't really sorted out how I felt about Donut yet. York appeared a few minutes later and scoffed down the fruit. 

"What are we doing?" York asks, his voice shockingly low. I was a little surprised.

"Just getting some air and finding Sarge." I saw his face drop slightly. "Come on, man. Just for a bit alright? We'll come back and do anything else."

York nodded and agreed to go. The three of us pile out of the door and Donut locks it behind. I took a deep breath of air and closed by eyes, heading down to the school. Sarge was talking with Connie which was a little surprising to see. We headed down and greeted them both. Sarge was looking a little dim and Connie was unreadable.

"Hey Sarge." I managed to smile and got a nod in return.

"I've been speaking with Lopez recently. Felix has been isolating himself a lot, ever since Wash has been gone." Sarge sounded grave. I didn't quite understand what he was getting at. "Follow me."

I nod and look at York for reassurance and he nods too. I walked alongside Sarge, followed by York and Donut. We were led along the wall to the little gap Wash had made days ago. Is this the gap Felix was talking about?

"Tucker, there's no other gaps in the wall but this. There's no sign of a struggle, no sign of blood or a scuffle." Sarge motioned to the wire and so I looked closer, seeing nothing. It was just the same as we'd left it last time.

I let out a breathless laugh. What was I supposed to say? "Sarge...I don't know. What are you trying to say?"

"I've been er...pokin' around if you will. Lopez made a list of times when Felix has left his house. Tucker...I'm thinkin' this is one of Felixs' ideas." 

"Yeah..." Yorks' voice pierced the short silence that settled over us.

"What? York?" I look back between York and Sarge who seem to be having a silent conversation between themselves. "Guys?"

Sarge turned to me with a small grin, rolling his eyes. York looked hopeful and Donut had that little glint in his eye. Surely I was missing something. Was I? 

"Meet me by the gates at dusk. For now, just take it slow." Sarge shoos us off and goes into the school doors, slightly grinning. After speaking to civilians for a while, Yorks' voice slipped back into its soft-ish nice voice and Donut was happily admiring little flowers that grew. It then hit me. Everything Sarge said...

I stopped in the road and looked down, seeing the little drops of tears fall onto the half dry ground. I felt angry and sad and happy. I felt my blood rushing and boiling and my fingers were itching to pull a trigger, my arms were begging for some machete practise. I had...purpose. I thought of the others. I prayed to everything that they were safe and as soon as we got out of here everything would be okay.

*

The sky was burning orange, pinks and blues. A night like this in Winter was beautiful. York had stuck a knife from Wash into his belt, stuck a pistol into its holster and began pacing around the house as Donut searched for his own weapons. Once I'd came back from the school with a machete in hand, York gave me a reassuring nod and shoved another pistol into my hand. He was so much like Wash in some ways. Donut shook himself off, preparing himself. We left the little house and made our way up the small slope to meet Sarge, trying not to alert anyone of importance. Sarges' silhouette stood out against the setting sun; a hue of dark red. We shared a nod and Lopez appeared silently, trench coat swaying by his legs. Without a word, Lopez and Sarge swiftly ran along the wall. There was chalk. A small, unnoticeable triangle on one of the unused buildings. Crickets started to chirp but other than that, it was completely, deafeningly silent. A few turns later, Sarge stood outside of one of the houses, scanning the door. 

"Lopez?" Sarge said, voice gruff but quiet.

Lopez had never spoken, but according to Sarge he had amazing tracking skills. Their wordless conversation ended with a stern nod from Lopez and Sarge peeked through a window on the side. I crouched on the opposite side and peeked through the glass, seeing a glow emerge from a wooden door. Boxes were toppled over just next to it. Lopez opened the front door without a creak and left it ajar. Lopez grabbed Sarge and tilted his head toward the door and proceeded to ready his knife and stand ready. Right. If Felix tried to make a run for it, Lopez would be there. Donut could guard the window in the next room. Sarge moved across the room quietly and checked his shotgun. Fuck. That would fuck up anyone with one shot. Donut caught on, standing by the window and aiming his pistol, shaking slightly. Adrenaline rushed through me, I was fighting everything not to barge in and just shoot. Sarge began, swinging open the door and rushing down with his shotgun.

*

_Wash's POV_

I watched as Felix was prodding at his skin again, drawing blood and letting it drip to the concrete. He was done, I was sure of it. His eyes didn't hold any enthusiasm and it was almost as if his whole body, clothing and personality was in an ongoing slump. His orange bandanna was discarded on the floor, covered in blood and tears. The amount of times Felix has yelled and cried with insanity was uncountable. 

"I'm jus' about done with you, Wash." His voice rasped. He was torturing himself along with me. He would often drag his nails across his face and tug his hair with frustration. "One...one more thing."

I waited for him to continue. It didn't take long for him to begin his scratching and giggling again. He growled, shaking his head and clenching his fists, moving forward with his knife in hand. This time he went behind me and pressed the cold metal against my neck.

"Where...where did kill her? And how? Was it painful...?" There was a slight tease to his voice, but also genuineness. He really wanted to know.

"You...you know where our old outpost was right? It was like a small farm. House and a barn. It's really a long way from here but it's South." I avoided the other two questions but felt the blade press even harder. "A-and she...it looked painful. Sh-she was burned and...the infected had bitten her. I..."

I bit my lip, feeling the tears spill out uncontrollably. No. I was over that. It's been so long. Fuck. 

"Oh? Was there more blood than you expected. Human flesh doesn't react well with the infected bites...horrible isn't it? Makes you think...Ever wonder what it's like?" Felix laughed, cruelly. "Come now...did you let her turn or did you end it right there?"

"I...I killed her." I was never able to get the image out of my head. Her torn body and her head limply falling to the side. It was all because of Tex but...Tex got orders from Felix. "It was you. _You_ started that fire."

He gasped, sarcastically. "Oh, that's right! I sure did...hoping to kill what? Six birds with one stone?" He began to whisper numbers and names. "Surely I'm forgetting someone...Oh! Poor Maine. Heard he really got cooked up."

"Don't you say a fucking word about him! Or any of them! You lost your family and I lost _mine!_ Just stop." I gritted my teeth and squeezed my eyes shut. Too much...It was too much.

Felix yelled. No words, just a yell of anger followed by him cracking his knuckles against the concrete wall. The sound was sickening. Crack followed by crack until he was screaming and tears flooded down his cheeks. He still had the strength to pick up his knife and press it against my throat. I could feel the heat from his hands. The blade had pierced my skin. I felt the warmness down my neck and closed my eyes. Fuck. I had nothing left but I'd do anything to feel the sun.

Felix suddenly dropped the knife and gasped out a laugh. He rushed over and turned out the lights, but the door suddenly burst open and two silhouettes came rushing down the steps. I opened my mouth to yell, but to no avail. The words disappeared. I heard Felix laugh nervously as the two people cornered him. A few scuffles and Felix was pushed to the ground and - what sounded like a heavy boot - pressed him down.

"D-don't do anything rash now-" Felix was winded by the sounds of his gasp and coughs.

"Shut up. You're done." That voice...Sarge?

I forced myself to make a noise. A hoarse breath followed by a wheezing sound. It was horrible. I just wanted to speak. I heard the flick of the switch somewhere and the light buzzed on, making me wince and close my eyes. There was a sort of soft gasp and a sniffling sound. I opened an eye and peered up, seeing two familiar faces. I coughed and blinked. Tucker rushed over and cut the ropes connecting the chair to the wall, while York began to cut the rope at my legs and hands. Both teary. After York cut the bindings of my hands, I lifted them up and placed them on my lap. I slightly moved my legs. The pressure was gone. My muscles ached. Every tendon and joint begged to move. I looked up at Sarge, who was pressing his shotgun to Felixs' head. York was leaning on my shoulder. I felt the tears drop on to my t-shirt and Tucker was inspecting my wrists while wiping away unwanted tears.

I made a noise that sounded like a whine, as I pointed to my throat for water. I was so thirsty. Tucker hastily scanned the room, finding Felixs' water bottle and quickly pouring it for me. I gulped it down and groaned, swallowing a few times.

"I...you guys are alive?" My throat then began to sting. Fuck. Was it bad? "Felix said..."

I looked down at Felix. He was helpless and he'd accepted it. I think he'd lost all sense of himself. His eyes were begging for something, but it wasn't positive. I shuffled off the chair and fell to the floor, grazing my knees and elbows as I attempted to save myself. I shuffled over one my elbows and sat up on my knees, facing Felix. His eyes were watery, but he still looked stubborn as ever.

"What do you want?" I looked at his weeping wounds. The older ones were healing alright, but these fresh, deeper ones couldn't do it on their own.

"Oh so many things..." His face softened as his mind wandered. "I wanna see your head on a pike." 

I opened my mouth to speak but he interrupted, pointing at Tucker. Tucker and York were watching, eyes intent and weapons at the ready. Tucker knelt down next to me and glared at Felix. Slowly, Felix brought his broken knuckled towards the side of Tuckers thigh. I looked and saw the holster for his pistol and cringed. Felix struggled for a seconds before looking back and forth. Pleading. Tucker took out his gun and squeezed it. Felix nodded, and fell back against the wall.

I shook my head. I didn't want to see anymore blood. I closed my eyes. Tucker and Sarge stepped back as Felix coughed. Blood dribbled down his chin. My chest felt heavy again and I turned my head to Tucker and York. York...he was so different. He looked so tired. Tucker looked thinner. I heard Felix shuffle behind me and then Tuckers eyes widened. Everything went so slow. Tucker lunged forward, Sarge stumbled from the push of Tucker. York grabbed onto Tuckers waist, aiming a pistol at me. At...me? I felt soft material around my neck for a brief second before the choking feeling brought things back to normal pace. I was dragged back and the cut on my neck exploded with pain, the cold steel of a pistol against my head made me want to scream.

"I'm gonna fucking kill you! I swear-!" Tucker yelled and struggled against York. Sarge had his gun pointed at Felix already but...If Sarge shot then Felix would too.

"Aren't you gonna say goodbye to your boyfriend? Look at him! Crying and struggling like a rabbit caught in a trap." Felix wheezed out a laugh and pushed himself up against the wall. I was dragged up with him and my legs trembled. They ached so badly. The room grew blurry and the world began to tilt. I couldn't think. Fuck! _Stay awake, Wash_. 

_'Stay awake'_

_Carolina? No...No._

I groaned and struggled against Felix. My legs, my arms. I looked up at the door, seeing another silhouette. Tall. He was speaking softly. I couldn't make out anything but Felixs' grip began to loosen. I coughed and fell forward as Felix laughed. Something stopped me before I hit the floor and I was lifted up by Sarge. Felix was laughing and walked up those little steps, slowly. He turned when he got to the top.

"Lopez my good friend! Glad to see you...mind finding a lock for this door?" Felix swung his arms by his side. He tilted his head. "No? What? B-but...what about everything...oh! You're joking!"

Felix laughed nervously and coughed again. I felt the world spin again and the edges of my eyes started going dark. So much. Too much. So sensitive. Where was Carolina...

*

_There she was. Standing there, atop the cliff side. Her hair swayed naturally in the breeze. The smell of the sea hit me and I thought this moment would last forever. Our last teenage outing. The small pop-out table covered with shot glasses, beer cans, vodka and food. The other were running around on the grassy cliff, throwing an old tennis ball around and creating silly games from their imagination. I walked over to Carolina and stood beside her, watching the waves slap the edge of the cliff and the tiny little boat on the horizon._

_'Hey David.' Carolina turned to me and smiled. The laughs and shouts from behind us were carried by the wind towards the sea._

_'I miss you so much.' Carolina nodded and placed her hand on my shoulder. It was a reassuring hand, it was warm. Warm like the sun. I knew I looked like an idiot, standing here in shorts and a tank top, covered in grass stains_. 

_'It's been five years. You speak to me when you're stressed. Why do you always pick this moment?' Carolina looked back at the other and smiled._

_'Just look. The cheering, the drinks, the sun. The warmth. My friends.' I felt tears prick my eyes as I saw Carolina nod and look to the sea. 'Felix hurt me. My body hurts. I want to go home.'_

_'Wash, I know it's hard. You have Tucker and York, and everyone else. Don't close up. Let them know who you are.' Carolina was right of course._

_'I can't let you go. Not now. Soon...'_

_'Alright. But promise me...you'll let me rest soon.'_

_'I promise. I miss you. I miss this.'_

_I close my eyes and listen to the laughing. I could swear I heard my own distant laugh in there, but that was a far off memory. Nothing has ever made me happier than this. I've laughed, for sure but...It sounded different. Maybe I couldn't tell because it was too faded. I hope that wherever this memory ends up, they have a good time forever._

_Carolina turns to me and holds out her arms. I sigh with a smile and hug her. I buried my face into her neck, getting that familiar smell. The smell of safety. I wasn't ready to let her go. I never would be. But she's tired. I'm tired too._

_'Come on, Wash. It's time to go. You're safe now.'_

_I squeeze her tightly, sobbing. I felt nothing in my arms anymore as the space around me collapsed and turned to white, which turned to nothing._

*

Total overload. A hundred hammers hit my head all at once. It was bright when I opened my eyes. Not artificial light, no. Soft, yellow, glowing streaks. It smelt fresh and the cold air settled on my bare skin. It was nice and quiet. No buzzing, flickering bulb, no uncomfortable position. A few birds whistled their song outside and calm voices could be heard from downstairs. The room was tidy and all my things were placed neatly on the drawers. This must have been Donuts' doings. I stretched my legs and pulled the covers over my arms as I sat up, inspecting the room further. There was only one bed in this room. The duvet was comfortably heavy and it smelt like flowers or something of the sort.

I looked over to a bedside table and grabbed a full water bottle, only then noticing the soft cloth wrapped around my wrists. As I drank the water I began to feel the pulsing on my wrists now. It felt like rope burn. I left my wrists untouched and lifted my arms, swaying them around gently. I pushed away the covers and swung my legs over the side of the bed. I breathed and closed my eyes. My legs were still aching but I had to try. I held on to the bed as I caught my balance and smiled. At least I could stand.

I then looked down to inspect my body. There were healing cuts and I felt bandages around my neck. I touched my collarbone and sighed with relief, feeling stitches underneath the bandage. I looked at my familiar burn scars and nodded. I was myself and there was nothing too serious. Nothing I can't handle.

I took a few wobbly steps towards the drawers, seeing my clothes. Well, not all of them. There was a grey, stainless t-shirt instead of my old one. My jeans and hoodie looked clean and patched up. They looked a bit like what Lopez had. I wondered if he'd sewn and patched everything back up. The old coat York had given me was hung up on the door and my shoes were neatly placed next to the door. I slowly began to pull my t-shirt on, carefully trying not to rub my wrists. I always forget to be gentle when I was hurt. My jeans were much harder to put on as my ankles were burning every time I tugged the fabric. My eyes watered from the pain. After recovering, I pulled on my socks and climbed into my hoodie. I began to feel a lot warmer.

My legs buckled for a second and I was forced to sit back down on the bed, rubbing my thighs gently to get some warmth back into them. I sighed. I started to make some humming sounds to warm up my voice. I know I had to be careful with my neck, so I drank a bit more water and waited on the bed. I wanted to leave this room, but I know it wasn't mine. I didn't want to wander around without Tucker or York. The voices downstairs weren't stopping so I frowned, walking over to the door and opening it. 

This definitely wasn't our old house. This one was well kept, hardly any dust and everything was clean. I looked around at the top of the stairs. There were two other rooms and a small bathroom. I hobbled over to the bathroom and searched for a mirror. The mirror was attached to the wall, so I stood back and looked the small cuts on my cheek and forehead. I wiped my face with my hands and nodded to myself. I came to the top of the staircase and grabbed the wooden handrail, trusting it with my weight. I took it one step at a time and grabbed my stomach as it growled. I got to the last step and looked around. Tucker appeared in front of me and I jumped.

Tucker stared at me for a few seconds before smiling and narrowing his eyes. "You could've just asked for help, y'know." Tucker held out his hands and I grabbed them relieved.

"Where are we?" My voice sounded strange, but hopefully that would pass.

"We're in the same place, just moved house," Tucker laughed. "It's much better here."

I nodded and was led into the living room. Tucker had his arm around my waist and I gripped his other arm. I sat down on a grey, squishy sofa and looked around. I was quickly engulfed in hugging arms. I could make out the softer ones to be Yorks' and Donuts' were a little smaller but had a stronger grip. I felt a heavy hand on my shoulder which felt a lot like Sarges' hand. Once I could see again, I could see Tucker leaning on his hand and looking anywhere else. 

"How long has it been?" I ask, mainly to break the silence. Tuckers face became a little softer and I smiled at him.

"You've been asleep for a couple of days." Tucker shakes his head. "Felix isn't going to do anything here now."

I sigh with relief. I passed out before I could see what happened. Everyone is okay though. Everyone is safe and alive. Good. 

"You managed to change on your own? I thought those burns would hurt too much." York had placed himself beside me on the sofa and Donut was with Sarge. I heard cans of food being opened and my stomach growled.

"It wasn't too hard..." I grabbed at my stomach again and groaned. "Any chance of some food?"

"Don't worry your pretty little head, Wash. Donut brought those canned strawberries." York grinned as Donut walked in with the canned food. I gratefully took the can and started drooling. There was a strong syrupy smell about it. I began to eat the small pieces of soft fruit and my stomach was happy. There was almost half a can of the syrupy stuff left, so naturally I drank it and nodded. 

"That was good..." I laughed a little, looking for the reassurance in Yorks' eyes. He didn't look tired anymore and his smile was actually happy. I wondered if he remembered that time on the cliffs. I didn't dare ask. I knew it would just make him uncomfortable.

Sarge and Donut began to talk, telling me about where they threw Felix. I almost felt bad for him. Lopez had contacted the Bandits in the gas station and they all welcomed themselves in. They were stocked up on painkiller and that was probably the reason I was asleep for those couple of days. I didn't want to imagine what Markus had done to Felix. The rest of the bandits had taken it upon themselves to inform the city of new rules and ways. Of course, anyone who wanted to leave, left. Connie was gone. I don't think I expected a goodbye, but I got to see her one last time. Kai and Tex have been sorting through the supplies from Markus and a few of the bandits are handling the weapons. Price was nowhere to be found. That unsettled me.

I think it was okay to tell Tex about Church now. Felix wasn't around to find them. But that means we have to make the trek to one, or all of the three locations I sent them. I had to heal up. I wasn't going to let anyone go without me. Being stuck inside din't feel right. I think things would be okay again for a while. Hopefully.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So that was Chapter 5! It took me a while to write but hopefully the next few chapter are better!  
> I know the POV's changed a bunch but that was because this story was originally an old draft and I had to work off what I had. The next and/or the rest of the Chapter are going to be in Wash's POV


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